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(
[sid] => 112676
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Inferiority Complex
[time] => 2006-01-06 15:47:16
[hometext] => Well...I suppose this may be quite abstract, hopefully it'll make sense somewhat...Either way, this is how it asked to be spilled : )
[bodytext] => Dripping in simmered, peroxided anecdotes
which lend privy to sporadic leniancy
Cursed speech- peppered with offhanded quotes
the snatcher of time burrows d e e p, (But denies clemency)
Beware! The festering gap-toothed smile of naivety
behold the blueprints of an obnoxious construction
Overabundance of morose, unchartered creativity
soaking in shimmers of a cast-out production
Frowning in hints of a taste that didn't quench
(Salty crevice in the back corner of despair)
Bended knee boomerang of a tyrant's monkey wrench
balance precariously on the steel-toed trap, wanting to ensnare
Actions born out of drunken tangent's of sobriety
impede the running legs of the outstretched sleeve
Juggle those dark needs of nauseous, wanton, propriety
crawl to the surface of living, to diplomatically bereave
Shrug off a veil of incomplete, yet, controlled inconsistency
evidence gathering; an arduous study, however diligent
The raging flames lick at the edges rather flirtatiously
neglectful of sentimental value, it crisps to a burn- persistent
Galloping analysis of devotion continues to proceed
observing dusted shades of a methodical exterior
Rhythmic sways of truth crash, and then recede
The final diagnosis: You were found to be inferior.
[comments] => 25
[counter] => 1408
[topic] => 73
[informant] => hauntedscorp
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 164
[ratings] => 45
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => abstract
)
Inferiority Complex
Contributed by
hauntedscorp
on
Friday, 6th January 2006 @ 03:47:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
Dripping in simmered, peroxided anecdotes
which lend privy to sporadic leniancy
Cursed speech- peppered with offhanded quotes
the snatcher of time burrows d e e p, (But denies clemency)
Beware! The festering gap-toothed smile of naivety
behold the blueprints of an obnoxious construction
Overabundance of morose, unchartered creativity
soaking in shimmers of a cast-out production
Frowning in hints of a taste that didn't quench
(Salty crevice in the back corner of despair)
Bended knee boomerang of a tyrant's monkey wrench
balance precariously on the steel-toed trap, wanting to ensnare
Actions born out of drunken tangent's of sobriety
impede the running legs of the outstretched sleeve
Juggle those dark needs of nauseous, wanton, propriety
crawl to the surface of living, to diplomatically bereave
Shrug off a veil of incomplete, yet, controlled inconsistency
evidence gathering; an arduous study, however diligent
The raging flames lick at the edges rather flirtatiously
neglectful of sentimental value, it crisps to a burn- persistent
Galloping analysis of devotion continues to proceed
observing dusted shades of a methodical exterior
Rhythmic sways of truth crash, and then recede
The final diagnosis: You were found to be inferior.
Copyright ©
hauntedscorp
... [
2006-01-06 15:47:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by SocialMisfit on
Friday, 6th January 2006 @ 04:33:56 PM AEST
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lol im compleetly lost, but it sounds cool :P
SM |
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Friday, 6th January 2006 @ 05:21:55 PM AEST
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IM in awe with this write. I will read it over again .
Michelle |
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by Angelchild on
Friday, 6th January 2006 @ 05:22:04 PM AEST
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I was a bit lost too, but I definately like the ending message of this poem. To someone, we are all inteferior to someone.. Good job!
Angelchild |
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 6th January 2006 @ 11:57:54 PM AEST
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Okay, I have to read that again. I think the last two lines brought it all together for me but...uh, I have to read it again after reading it twice already.
I know one thing...I kept thinking....if you ever open a restaurant I'm never going there. ;-) |
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 7th January 2006 @ 12:07:47 AM AEST
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Uh, yes, final analysis, quite abstract. Yet, definitely a PerfectoScorp write!!!! I really enjoyed reading it....as usual! ! ! ! ! ! Just knowing you is why I think I might get some of it but I feel it is not to be analyzed or over analyzed....merely enjoyed and yep, I enjoyed it.
A wonderful write, Scorperiffic. :-) |
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 7th January 2006 @ 09:51:43 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Seems the more abstract u get the clearer
u become and your a writter second 2 none
and this is a masterpeice of poetry your work
is most enjoyable scorp, not to mention quite
captivating . . .
((((scorp))))
Ben |
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by Alibi on
Sunday, 8th January 2006 @ 09:42:17 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Scorpy, I am left a little speechless here. There is so much going on in this bare all piece. So much emotion in every line. Love, and/or disappointment maybe? The third stanza seems to hint at that at least. Or I'm misreading this. It's just wonderful either way. Excellent poem Scorp, veiled or not. |
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by LostAmbition on
Sunday, 8th January 2006 @ 10:18:12 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Woah!
i might be
a little to
dumb to
read this :D
very good stuff
not sure what
its about
but lots
of feeling! |
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by MrJeans on
Sunday, 8th January 2006 @ 04:48:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
This reads
very professional
I am very, very
impressed with this
poem to say the
least!
Your way of
expressing
your feelings here
is both unique
and creative.
Excellent piece
of poetry!
Mr. |
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by darkangeleyes57 on
Tuesday, 10th January 2006 @ 09:51:13 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
This is quite abstract but it was brillant. I liked it alot. You have talent!
take care
christina |
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spazzo on
Tuesday, 10th January 2006 @ 02:10:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This is really awesome.
Take care.
Scott |
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Thursday, 12th January 2006 @ 09:10:24 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I don't understand it at all, unfortunately.
What I do know though, is that this called to me, that it drew me in on every word, and that I wanted to understand. I do know that the understanding isn't important though.
Good write, I find it rather unique, and it's nice to see when so many of the writes on this site sre the same, nowadays.
*hugs*
Phil xxx
(Who wishes she could say more) |
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 16th January 2006 @ 01:33:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
I must say you obviously have much to let out. I hope never to be on the receiving end of your anger!
This peice is so....full! there is so much to it, in it, in you.
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Tuesday, 17th January 2006 @ 03:56:07 AM AEST
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a Message)
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An amazing write.
good work.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Saturday, 21st January 2006 @ 12:27:00 AM AEST
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Ah, now... I've been here before, Scorpichachitabean. I slipped out without a word --- too tired, I was, to be able to fully absorb this or leave a half way decent comment. I can't promise I'll do any better now, but... here goes ---
I have to tell you, I think the bestest thing about this is the you-can't-miss-it tone (which, IMHO, is so often the case with your work). This gallops along a interesting and thought provoking path --- and does so with conviction, I'd say. In terms of tone, I 'hear' (feel) more than simple "anger" here... I'm certain there is more, much much more to it. 'Anger', then, just seems too simple a word - and is perhaps not entirely accurate, I'm inclined to think. I'd argue (and I'm being quite brash here, I know) that if it were simply anger being expressed here - this, as it is, would not have existed. Some part of me wants to say (which is also bold, admittedly) that I may know this feeling --- and it is both unnameable and complex, I think.
There is much here that impressed me --- not the least of which, Scorpidoo, is your bravery.
*hugs*
~Snem
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 22nd January 2006 @ 06:46:31 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Best last line EVER!!
Scorparino .. this was definitely abstract, but the emotions in it were not. I feel you. And
only you know how much I relate. Each line, dripping with a kind of disdain. Like that
of one who is fed up with it all. Fed up with the complacency and dishonesty of a
trusted soul. Fed up with always being the one to give. And eternally being the one left to
pick up the pieces ....
Yup ... there sure is anger in here, but also a sadness. A sadness that, once felt and
removed, makes us so very glad to be alive. Wonderfully emotive piece Scorpy.
I agree with Snem. Your bravery is astounding. And
your talent is boundless, chicklet!
*many, many hugs*
~Breezy |
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Friday, 27th January 2006 @ 12:27:34 AM AEST
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a Message)
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hey scorp,
seems like you put alot of thought into this...i wish i could put that much thought into some of my writes.
i will always be an envious fan!!!
bye for now,
wiz |
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 27th January 2006 @ 07:26:51 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| wow, you've got your writing down pat, have missed you a lot, are you still around? Lovely poem, thank you, hugs from Michael and I... raquelLeah :D |
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Saturday, 11th February 2006 @ 02:08:59 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This is imagery and beyond...
phrases like:
"which lend privy to sporadic leniancy
Cursed speech- peppered with offhanded quotes"
and:
"Galloping analysis of devotion continues to proceed
observing dusted shades of a methodical exterior"
..absolutely brilliant is the diction in stanzas 2 and 4...
The whole piece was magnificent-I think..the best I've read from you yet.
Divinely Inspired-
Truly..
B
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Thursday, 16th March 2006 @ 06:35:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Scorp,
First of all I want to say, I hope you are ok. I haven't seen you submit many poems, which I miss, nor have I experienced any of your insightful comments.
Regarding this poem, Inferiority Complex, it seems paradoxical that it is very complex in spite of the inferiority focus. It's almost as if the abstract complicated structure and content are demonstrating that your work is not only not inferior; but superb.
Words that stand out for me as possible themes are: anecdote, naivety, despair, diplomacy, needs, inconsistency and rhythmic. Is there an anecdote for despair? Perhaps diplomacy for the inconsistencies. And needs that are frustrated, etc......
Anyway, super write.
Will, who misses your work and input. |
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 25th May 2006 @ 08:18:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow you certainly have a way with words! admitingly I got lost in places but there is brillance in the complexity of this piece.
Excellent writing.
J. |
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 10th June 2006 @ 03:48:36 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
your a classic example of the old saying,
refering 2 your poetry, and ridding a bicycle,
u never 4get how 2 do it, well hence your
poetry and writting skills, excellant as always,
i'm spoild rotten and i love it. Keep it up.
Welcome back Scorp . . .
((((((Scorp))))))
Ben
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 10th June 2006 @ 08:22:59 PM AEST
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Judging by your title this is aimed at yourself.If I'm right that's more than harsh.Nothing very inferior about this write...nothing at all,
Den |
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by secretwind on
Saturday, 17th June 2006 @ 07:33:12 PM AEST
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a Message)
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You are the master
others may flow
but your words appear as I read them and form visual scenes.
Excellent
well done.
The Wind..... |
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Re: Inferiority Complex
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Tuesday, 20th May 2014 @ 08:48:51 PM AEST
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this is exquisite to the max!! i love it!! you truly
shine here my friend, it is beautifully a m a z i n g!!
i didn't even realize the rhyme is perfection until i
went and read it again lol, wow and wow! and the
end line to this masterpiece; has bite:)
hugs n' love nessa
@->>->----- |
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