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Array
(
[sid] => 112641
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => mommy converstaions (continued)
[time] => 2006-01-06 00:53:41
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => once again i'm in the same situation... once again i answered the phone... " hello... hi...(slight pause)... hi mom how have you been? what do you mean? i'm 19 mom what do you mean you want to be in my life? now?? why now its been ten years... don't yell at me... no its not my fault!! you did this its your fault you could have come around more often... you could have been apart of our life!! what happened? what was so important that you had to go and never come back? was he that important to you that you gave us up to be with him!! i'm not a child anymore you can't fool me!!! MOM!! what was wrong with me?? what happened?? you weren't there for me when i go tmy heart broken... or when i learned to ride a bike... or when i got my first kiss... instead my step mom helped me and taught how to get over these things!! my step mom taught me how to get over you!!! for the first three years i waited for you!! i prayed that you would come back i waited for you to want us ...i spent the first three years with out you wishing and hoping constantly tht you would come back i even dreamed that you did!! but it never happened and as i got alittle older i realized that i was wishing for a resolution that would never come true!!! and for three years i cried myself to sleep... i bet you didn't know that... after that i was angry i was angry at the world... now you know what... i realized my mom that i am better off with out you that i don't need you... i've lived 10 years with out you and you want to be in my life when i am just becoming old enough to take care of myself... don't tell me not to be angry mom!!! and i want you to know that i didn't need you any way... i don't need you mom!!! don't tell me not to cry! why mom why can't i be angry? why didn't you come back? with didn't you want us? what did i do? please tell me!! no it wasn't it wasn't for our own good... do you have any idea how hard it was for us to live with out you... you used to be my hero... you used to be whole world... when you left my world was shattered... the sky fell!! i loved you mom did that mean anything to you... huh?? did it!! mom? mom? answer me!!" once again my mom left the same way that she did the first time... she just simply hung up maybe that was her good bye... so i set the phone down and softly cried...
[comments] => 0
[counter] => 154
[topic] => 48
[informant] => eternityandaday4u
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 4
[ratings] => 1
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => EmotionalPoetry
)
|
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