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Array ( [sid] => 111754 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Dead Ends With Definitions [time] => 2005-12-19 13:27:15 [hometext] => [bodytext] => It's a big box, four walls,
and i'm not, at all,
staying inside, the lines,
I've got insight on the outside...

She's a deep hole, that grows,
to take, me home,
she's so dark, and deep,
and dead ends are well defined...

It's a bored game, he plays,
on the things, he made,
and the rules, won't break,
but he's my favorite of my saviors...

I'll be your, whatever you want...
I'll give up, whatever you want...
I'll take in, whatever you want...
I'll do it, whenever you want...

I heard her say heresy,
but she says alot of things,
I heard him say misery,
But he pulls alot of strings...
[comments] => 3 [counter] => 144 [topic] => 21 [informant] => grey_matters [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 12 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )

Dead Ends With Definitions

Contributed by grey_matters on Monday, 19th December 2005 @ 01:27:15 PM in AEST
Topic: Lifepoems

It's a big box, four walls,
and i'm not, at all,
staying inside, the lines,
I've got insight on the outside...

She's a deep hole, that grows,
to take, me home,
she's so dark, and deep,
and dead ends are well defined...

It's a bored game, he plays,
on the things, he made,
and the rules, won't break,
but he's my favorite of my saviors...

I'll be your, whatever you want...
I'll give up, whatever you want...
I'll take in, whatever you want...
I'll do it, whenever you want...

I heard her say heresy,
but she says alot of things,
I heard him say misery,
But he pulls alot of strings...

Copyright © grey_matters ... [ 2005-12-19 13:27:15]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Dead Ends With Definitions (User Rating: 1 )
by ruby_dreamer on Monday, 19th December 2005 @ 01:57:43 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

It sounds like this is supposed to have a rhythm of some sort, as the excessive commas confused me at first. Is this meant to be a song?

The word choice is excellent, and brings forth imagery well. Definitely thought-provoking. Splendid work!

Re: Dead Ends With Definitions (User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on Monday, 19th December 2005 @ 03:26:04 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

A thought provoking piece of poetry penned so well. Captivating from start to finish. Well done. Thanks so much for sharing this great piece of poetry with us.
*hugs*
~sue~

Re: Dead Ends With Definitions (User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on Monday, 19th December 2005 @ 06:34:36 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Nice word choices, indeed. The structure is a bit more like song lyrics than typical poetry, but no bad thing, that.

Keep it up.

Andrew

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