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| Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 29-May 12:29:21 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 111488
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Guilt Trip
[time] => 2005-12-14 16:19:43
[hometext] => just random thoughts bout a recent event in my life.thank u 4 any comments.
[bodytext] => I can still feel every kiss from his lips to my cheek, everytime he put his arm around me, every time his hand touched my leg,arm,hand,face. My entire body is in denial but at the same time i embrace it. With those two feelings comes guilt. Why me i ask myself over and over. I did nothing to stop this,only let it happen and pushed a little more, and now i doubt my past actions and words, my relationship with my boyfriend and a possible relationship with him, my relationships with my friends,who one of them is more then family to me, and just happens to be his cousins. What will happen now i cant even dare to predict. For a persons feeling for another can change just as the days of the week, and so do mine towards my boyfriend and him. The difference between them is like comparing the moon to the sun. But each have there likenesses aswell. Bother share a connection to me and to my heart. Because of him ive relized what im missing,more like what im wishing i had in my relationship. is that wrong that he made me see this,and i feel something towards him? is that why? I feel like a friend watching someone elses life,this cant be mine. Is this what runs through my mind? Are these the thoughts that fill my day? This is the person ive become, living outside the bubble of my life. Ican olnt see bad outcomes from this,all eqaully the same. no matter what degree of the truth is told. A loss of more than one friend and a lover. Ive never dreamed that i of all people would be dealing with this, but this is now the reality ive created,and have to live in. Never would ive guessed,dreamed,or nightmared, that this is what runs through my blood,mind,soul, my heart. My life and perspective has changed forever. For better or for worse, no one will ever know. Not even me. Its burning my heart,mind,soul. but i cant change the past. Only redirect the future, which is when my fate will be decieded. [comments] => 3 [counter] => 160 [topic] => 48 [informant] => CloakedMystery [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 8 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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