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Array ( [sid] => 111277 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Untitled... still [time] => 2005-12-11 09:16:22 [hometext] => I still have no idea what to title this poem, suggestions are /very/ welcome. [bodytext] => Silvery wings,
Tipped with stars,
Away from home,
They come from Mars.

Swiftly moving,
Through the tress,
Leaving trails,
Through the leaves.

Their pearly skin,
Reflects the light,
You’ll only see them,
In the night.

Gracefully skating,
Through the air,
Leaping and dancing,
They look for a lair.

[comments] => 4 [counter] => 1545 [topic] => 43 [informant] => xoXOSaDiEOXox [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 29 [ratings] => 7 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

Untitled... still

Contributed by xoXOSaDiEOXox on Sunday, 11th December 2005 @ 09:16:22 AM in AEST
Topic: oops

Silvery wings,
Tipped with stars,
Away from home,
They come from Mars.

Swiftly moving,
Through the tress,
Leaving trails,
Through the leaves.

Their pearly skin,
Reflects the light,
You’ll only see them,
In the night.

Gracefully skating,
Through the air,
Leaping and dancing,
They look for a lair.

Copyright Â© xoXOSaDiEOXox ... [ 2005-12-11 09:16:22]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Untitled... still (User Rating: 1 )
by The_Callif on Sunday, 11th December 2005 @ 11:52:24 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

good poem
a wise man once told me 2 things
the first... a poem is like a child, it can't survive very long unnamed, so just name it whatever you feel right now, or why you wrote the poem
the second.... a rhyme scheme does make a poem sound cooler, but dont force it...
once again, great write, keep up the good work

-Callif

Re: Untitled... still (User Rating: 1 )
by slogan on Sunday, 11th December 2005 @ 02:34:54 PM AEST
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I agree with the above comments... very good advice... great write..jh

Re: Untitled... still (User Rating: 1 )
by Ari on Sunday, 11th December 2005 @ 10:52:56 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

How about Wings and Stars??

Re: Untitled... still (User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on Tuesday, 14th March 2006 @ 05:18:57 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

what about " Cosmic dancers"

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