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Array
(
[sid] => 110699
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => A La Carte
[time] => 2005-12-01 13:00:20
[hometext] => To those I pm with, this won't make sense in light of recent, happy events for me...But this was written over a month ago!
[bodytext] => Take a seat
but not here---
This seat's taken
Reservations for two
but not us
You were mistaken
See that man right there?
He's the one for me
Don't wait---you'll be lonely
Gentle as a feather
watch your dreams fall flat
You'll die, but ever so slowly
You see
I have this switch
temporary glitch
Here comes the *****!
Pitch---
your heart in the ditch
rigor mortis, body twitch
The time has come
to say goodbye...
Hats off to you!
A feeble attempt
to hijack my heart
(Is any of this true?)
Unnatural forces destruct
this innuendo of love
Their fate is sealed
He blinks in regret
a rebuttal nightmare
I moved on, while his body still reeled---
in shock
(The ship sailed...)
left standing at the dock
Another sheep in the flock
you're a pebble, not a rock
Here comes the mock!
Like a neuter; no balls, just ****
(Care for dessert?) : )
[comments] => 15
[counter] => 966
[topic] => 56
[informant] => hauntedscorp
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 78
[ratings] => 25
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => sarcasticpoetry
)
A La Carte
Contributed by
hauntedscorp
on
Thursday, 1st December 2005 @ 01:00:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
sarcasticpoetry
|
Take a seat
but not here---
This seat's taken
Reservations for two
but not us
You were mistaken
See that man right there?
He's the one for me
Don't wait---you'll be lonely
Gentle as a feather
watch your dreams fall flat
You'll die, but ever so slowly
You see
I have this switch
temporary glitch
Here comes the *****!
Pitch---
your heart in the ditch
rigor mortis, body twitch
The time has come
to say goodbye...
Hats off to you!
A feeble attempt
to hijack my heart
(Is any of this true?)
Unnatural forces destruct
this innuendo of love
Their fate is sealed
He blinks in regret
a rebuttal nightmare
I moved on, while his body still reeled---
in shock
(The ship sailed...)
left standing at the dock
Another sheep in the flock
you're a pebble, not a rock
Here comes the mock!
Like a neuter; no balls, just ****
(Care for dessert?) : )
Copyright ©
hauntedscorp
... [
2005-12-01 13:00:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A La Carte
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 1st December 2005 @ 01:54:06 PM AEST
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Oh, I think it makes perfect sense, Scorperiffic! Cuts like a knife! I was gonna pick a favorite line but I think they're all my faves! You really know how to dish it out and wow....such imagery. Kinda makes me cringe with pain. ;-)
As always, perfect Scorperiffic!
opTIMistic
:-)
I have to read this a couple of more times. I love it! |
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Re: A La Carte
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 1st December 2005 @ 01:58:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Had to add this. :-)
"you're a pebble, not a rock
Here comes the mock!
Like a neuter; no balls, just ****
OUCH!!!
This entire write has that Scorpendous ouch factor but that one! OOOOUUUCH!
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Re: A La Carte
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lashing_Tongue on
Thursday, 1st December 2005 @ 03:00:17 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
This made me laugh, and I love the purposely choppy style, it prevents one from every fully regaining their balance from one line to the next and keeps things unexpected.
Best Wishes
Jackie |
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Re: A La Carte
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 1st December 2005 @ 03:48:14 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| conducive pain of laughter, what is for dessert lol RL |
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Re: A La Carte
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Thursday, 1st December 2005 @ 04:02:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Sue *applauds* Scorp. You certainly know how to dish it out girl, lol. I love it!
you're a pebble, not a rock
Here comes the mock!
Like a neuter; no balls, just ****
(Care for dessert?) : )
The sting of the Scorp. Ouch!
Well done Scorp you've conveyed your feelings real well in this write.
*much love n hugs*
~sue~
who misses Scorp heaps :-( |
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Re: A La Carte
(User Rating: 1 )
by JenJen on
Thursday, 1st December 2005 @ 04:43:25 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
it makes sense
good write
keep it up
jen
xxx |
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Re: A La Carte
(User Rating: 1 )
by sprinter27 on
Thursday, 1st December 2005 @ 05:01:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
perfect scorp!! i'm glad to hear that it was a month ago!! lol. and yeas, i agree with chase, ouch to that last line, not like i would Personally know! lol. great write, tho, scorp, i really enjoyed reading this one! but, of course i love to read all your writes cause they are great! lol. i know how you felt back then, i think every girl knows! lol. great write, keep up the great write, scorp!
~sprints |
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Re: A La Carte
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jyssvw on
Thursday, 1st December 2005 @ 08:49:29 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
This poem sounds angry, and sad….im glad to hear things are no longer like this… It is a witty and humorous piece…the explicitness adds a raw feeling to the words….this was a really good write..
Nice job as always scorp
oh, i love the title..by the way |
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Re: A La Carte
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Saturday, 3rd December 2005 @ 02:28:44 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Crazy haha, suits sarcastic so great. First of your poems I've read
and it was time well spent. It's a fascinating one in a way... oddly enough
but I want to read it again and think on it.
~Kara~~Waos~ |
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Re: A La Carte
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Sunday, 4th December 2005 @ 12:08:11 AM AEST
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a Message)
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It's like if you can't have the whole meal, you don't want anything. And if you don't want the meal, then there is no dessert either. :) Here, again, you seem to take an assertive stance. The write is very descriptive, with a lot of imagery.
Well done, Scorp. I really like the title, and metaphor.
Will |
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Re: A La Carte
(User Rating: 1 )
by SocialMisfit on
Sunday, 4th December 2005 @ 02:37:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
a ball buster to say the least, but what else do we expect from the fabulous scorp? nothing but the best comes from your pen, and thats why i love reading your poetry so much :P lol. way to go.
SM |
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Re: A La Carte
(User Rating: 1 )
by secretwind on
Sunday, 4th December 2005 @ 01:42:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Excellent
you are a flow master.... |
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Re: A La Carte
(User Rating: 1 )
by LostAmbition on
Wednesday, 14th December 2005 @ 12:45:20 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
i dont think i want desserrt :O
naughty scorps! meany u!
so theres good news now?
is the good news that u dumped this jerk?
:p
i feel like im staking u or somethin!
im not crazy! I do love yer work and wish youd talk to me!
i better quit b4 u turn yer sarcasm on me
dont need 2 be neuterd ;) |
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Re: A La Carte
(User Rating: 1 )
by darkangeleyes57 on
Tuesday, 20th December 2005 @ 11:11:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This was wicked awesome... I liked it alot.. all the lines are really good... i espesically like this line:
Here comes the mock!
Like a neuter; no balls, just ****
take care
christina |
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Re: A La Carte
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 11th July 2006 @ 11:46:31 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
*read it again*
Ow--uch. ;-) |
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