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the poem without a name

Contributed by grim6669 on Sunday, 27th November 2005 @ 03:25:16 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry



my angel's bloody broken wings will never fly again

she's beaten... torn down... alone... because she sinned

i'm calling... screaming... at her above

her hate causes anger... filling her love

she tries...

then lies...

and cries...

to die...

but i beg to differ... she's still alive

alone... hiding... in the hate she's spread

deep in the nothingness... inside of her head

frantically searching to find a way

this angel will never be afraid

brave little angel... losing her mind

bleeding emotions... and falling behind

covered in torment... she'll never be freed

poor little angel just couldn't succeed

her tourniquet must be a little too loose

so she lowers her head... and tightens the noose

goodbye now my angel... i pity you none

you say, "hard times are over"...but they've just begun




Copyright © grim6669 ... [ 2005-11-27 15:25:16]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: the poem without a name (User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on Sunday, 27th November 2005 @ 03:43:07 PM AEST
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What a deep, sad and tragic write. You can feel the pain and suffering throughout ur poem. You manage to captivate ur reading into reading this sad piece from start to finish. Chin up and may u see brighter days ahead. Suicide is not the answer. May the wings of ur angel heal real quick. Sending you warm wishes on the wings of a prayer.
*tons of hugs for u*
~sue~


Re: the poem without a name (User Rating: 1 )
by Miss_Erika on Sunday, 27th November 2005 @ 04:44:34 PM AEST
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this is the best poem i have read on this site. i love itx5. its absolutly amazing. its definatly my favorite. forever.


Re: the poem without a name (User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on Sunday, 27th November 2005 @ 08:41:20 PM AEST
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How about 'Broken Innocence'?

I like this, the rhyme is good, as is the flow.

I think you could use some capitals, though. It would make the poem look better.

Also, the part wehere you have just one word on each line for four lines is a little... I dunno, I think you could have done that better.

Good write, anyway.
*hugs*
Phil xxx


Re: the poem without a name (User Rating: 1 )
by Butterflygirl40 on Monday, 28th November 2005 @ 02:51:49 AM AEST
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wow what a nice write on this poem..




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