Your Poetry Dot Com

Welcome to Your Poetry Dot Com - Read, Rate, Comment on, or Submit Poetry. Browse Poetry Forums, or just enjoy other parts of our poetic community.
One of the largest databases of poetry on the net, now over 198,500+ poems!

Poems On Site: 198,500+ Comments On Poems: 427,000+ Forum Posts: 105,000+

Custom Search


Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	29-May 16:25:45 AEST

Menu

· Our eBay Store

· Error Submit

Poetry

· Submit Poetry

· Least Read Poems

· Members Listing

· Old Site Post 2001

· Old Site Pre 2001

· Poetry Archive

· Public Domain Poetry

Stories

· Stories (NEW ! )

· Submit Story

· Story Topics

· Stories Archive

· Story Search

Community

· Our Poetry Forums

· Our Arcade
100's of Games !

Site Help

· FAQ

· Feedback

Members Areas

· Your Account

· Members Journals

· Premium Sign-Up

Premium Section

· Special Section

· Premium Poems

· Premium Submit

· Premium Search

· Premium Archive

· Premium Topics

Fun & Games

· Jokes

· Bubble Puzzle

· Cross Word Easy

· Word Hunt

Reference

· Dictionary (Rhyming)

· Site Updates

· Special Content

Search

Top

Help This Site

· Donations

Others

· Moderators

Our Other Sites

· Embroidery Design Store
· Your Jokes
· Special Urls
· JM Embroideries
· Public Domain Poetry and Stories
· Diamond Dotz
· Cooking Info and Recipes
· Quoof - Australian Story

Social

Array ( [sid] => 110232 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => ~Leaf in the wind~ [time] => 2005-11-23 02:55:25 [hometext] => [bodytext] => An empty street lined with shops,

The night still young, no ones around,

The gentle breeze striking down upon the desolate pavement,

A leaf drifts across the still air untouched by the attack from the wind,

From roof to ground the leaf flies untouched by the world around,

A nearby door opens a new wind joins in with the fight,

Other leaves join in riding the winds as they grow,

On a bench a man is sitting watching,

As he stares he realizes,

Life is just life,

Ride with it.
[comments] => 1 [counter] => 170 [topic] => 21 [informant] => TheDarkSamurai [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )

~Leaf in the wind~

Contributed by TheDarkSamurai on Wednesday, 23rd November 2005 @ 02:55:25 AM in AEST
Topic: Lifepoems

An empty street lined with shops,

The night still young, no ones around,

The gentle breeze striking down upon the desolate pavement,

A leaf drifts across the still air untouched by the attack from the wind,

From roof to ground the leaf flies untouched by the world around,

A nearby door opens a new wind joins in with the fight,

Other leaves join in riding the winds as they grow,

On a bench a man is sitting watching,

As he stares he realizes,

Life is just life,

Ride with it.

Copyright © TheDarkSamurai ... [ 2005-11-23 02:55:25]
(Date/Time posted on site)

Advertisments:

Previous Posted Poem | | Next Posted Poem

Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more

All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title etc.

Re: ~Leaf in the wind~ (User Rating: 1 )
by enigma on Wednesday, 23rd November 2005 @ 08:40:50 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

...I really, really, really liked the concept...it didn't seem to develop momentum, though...I wouldn't leave phrasing up to the reader...in what I write, phrasing is critical...I would have phrased the last few lines like this:

On a bench,
a man is sitting,
watching...
He stares,
he realizes,
"Life,
is just,
life..."

Ride with it.

...punctuation and attention to dynamic pauses...comma, thoughtful pause...period, dead stop...three periods, stop reading and continue only when the emotional impact of the punctuated line has settled in...these can make or break a good poem...following these when reading can turn a so, so poem into a really nice poem...

Good poem and good, thoughtful and emotional delivery...

ron...enigma

While every care is taken to ensure the general sites content is family safe, our moderators cannot be in all places; all the time. Please report poetry and or comments that are in breach of our site rules HERE (Please include poem title or url). Parents also please ensure that you supervise your children well when they are on the internet; regardless of what a site says about being, or being considered, child-safe.

Poetry is much like a great photo, a single "moment in time" capturing many feelings and emotions. Yet, they are very alive; creating stirrings within the readers who form visual "pictures" of the expressed emotions within the Poem. ©

Opinions expressed in the poetry, comments, forums etc. on this site are not necessarily those of this site, its owners and/or operators; but of the individuals who post items to this site.
Frequently Asked Questions | | | Privacy Policy | | | Contact Webmaster

All submitted items are Copyright © to their submitter. All the rest Copyright © 2002-2050 by Your Poetry Dot Com

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owners.

Script Generation Time: 0.052 Seconds. - View our Site Map | .© your-poetry.com