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Array
(
[sid] => 109288
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Why Am I
[time] => 2005-11-08 03:56:24
[hometext] => About times then and now
[bodytext] => As I wander in my thoughts of why my love broke my heart, I am lost and confused of which world to relate to, Christian life or the sinners way, I just don't know which path to live the ways, Too much heartache or little love from closest loved ones, I must find a way out of my life's lostness, Every plan I proceed would end up being a failure I regret, And now I begin to think where did all this started and when, Looking for memories of childhood till today, Pieces of this and that are opening my eyes that were blinded heavily, I keep on wandering in my life's strifes and griefs and want to find more of why am I like this, Ever since I can remember I enjoyed being a rebel to everyone that loved me, It gave me pleasure, happiness, power that I love to control, Through out the day I plan how, when, where and what to do, Of things to do to accomplish selfish satisfaction, And at night when I rest my physical body I smile and grin while I dream again for next days ambition, While my lonely soul cries for The Heavenly Master, [comments] => 1 [counter] => 190 [topic] => 61 [informant] => packatack [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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