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Array ( [sid] => 108800 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Pretending it Feels So Good and Now it Will [time] => 2005-10-31 09:20:53 [hometext] => Reworked [bodytext] => Entangled in your arms
My body feels like it floats

Surrendered my resolve
My mind feels overdosed

I feel you come closer
I can recognize your scent

I feel your hand on my shoulder
And then its rapid descent

Your bedroom eyes
Stare a hole through the essence of me

Straight to the point
You are a women yet to be pleased

You have been deserted
Never an orgasmic reached

So cynical and suspicious
You must be one hell of an actress to fall on your knees

________________________________
___________________ [comments] => 2 [counter] => 231 [topic] => 43 [informant] => mangos [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 11 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

Pretending it Feels So Good and Now it Will

Contributed by mangos on Monday, 31st October 2005 @ 09:20:53 AM in AEST
Topic: oops

Entangled in your arms
My body feels like it floats

Surrendered my resolve
My mind feels overdosed

I feel you come closer
I can recognize your scent

I feel your hand on my shoulder
And then its rapid descent

Your bedroom eyes
Stare a hole through the essence of me

Straight to the point
You are a women yet to be pleased

You have been deserted
Never an orgasmic reached

So cynical and suspicious
You must be one hell of an actress to fall on your knees

________________________________
___________________

Copyright © mangos ... [ 2005-10-31 09:20:53]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Pretending it Feels So Good and Now it Will (User Rating: 1 )
by MisTaraReunite on Monday, 31st October 2005 @ 02:42:53 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

The form is no good, just can hear no music,dig?
the object is good though

Re: Pretending it Feels So Good and Now it Will (User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on Wednesday, 2nd November 2005 @ 01:49:50 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Yes, I definitely remember this one! Well, I'm not a fan of originals being worked over, and I must admit, I like the first ending better. Also, the two line stanzas you've incorporated into this version, sort of takes away from the punch to some of your words. Maybe I'm just being fussy because I get hung up on the original version of things...Be it a song, poem, or a thought. I still do very much like this write...seeing how I know the story behind it, I guess I have an unfair advantage : )

Scorp.
(Who also liked the original title better too! lol)

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