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Array ( [sid] => 108577 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Dear God, Gods or No One [time] => 2005-10-27 13:41:06 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Hi everyone,

This is a poem I just wrote and I would like some feed back on it if you think you have something nice or constructive to say.

A little background: I am doing an English correspondence course that has been a hell of a lot of work. One of the last assignments was to write a poem about facing certain death; here it is.

Dear God, Gods or No One

Can you recognize my holler?
For, I had forced you to the shed;
I’ve been a busy scholar,
Always in your stead.

My time is now coming,
Will you hold me in good light?
Oh, I just became becoming!
As bright as apple blight!

Do unto me as you must,
For not procuring your worthy trust.
But do not put me where I fear,
Eternal correspondence, dear oh dear!
[comments] => 5 [counter] => 179 [topic] => 43 [informant] => pebblewrestler [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

Dear God, Gods or No One

Contributed by pebblewrestler on Thursday, 27th October 2005 @ 01:41:06 PM in AEST
Topic: oops

Hi everyone,

This is a poem I just wrote and I would like some feed back on it if you think you have something nice or constructive to say.

A little background: I am doing an English correspondence course that has been a hell of a lot of work. One of the last assignments was to write a poem about facing certain death; here it is.

Dear God, Gods or No One

Can you recognize my holler?
For, I had forced you to the shed;
I’ve been a busy scholar,
Always in your stead.

My time is now coming,
Will you hold me in good light?
Oh, I just became becoming!
As bright as apple blight!

Do unto me as you must,
For not procuring your worthy trust.
But do not put me where I fear,
Eternal correspondence, dear oh dear!

Copyright Â© pebblewrestler ... [ 2005-10-27 13:41:06]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Dear God, Gods or No One (User Rating: 1 )
by steven_fenton1982 on Thursday, 27th October 2005 @ 03:19:40 PM AEST
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Very cool, well done :D

Re: Dear God, Gods or No One (User Rating: 1 )
by SeanMcHaney on Thursday, 27th October 2005 @ 06:26:39 PM AEST
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Ha ha! I love it! That is a great poem! I almost felt the same way about corrispondence

Re: Dear God, Gods or No One (User Rating: 1 )
by Elisabeth on Monday, 25th September 2006 @ 02:43:12 PM AEST
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No doubt, you did well! Thank you for sharing.

Re: Dear God, Gods or No One (User Rating: 1 )
by DannyGirl on Tuesday, 26th September 2006 @ 06:21:51 PM AEST
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Very catchy, I like it though I must be having a dense moment because I'm not totoally sure what you are talking about.

Re: Dear God, Gods or No One (User Rating: 1 )
by Uncertain_Oblivion on Saturday, 30th September 2006 @ 04:20:23 PM AEST
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this was cute.

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