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Array ( [sid] => 107942 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Unaccepted Apologies- Lifelong Repentance [time] => 2005-10-17 19:27:51 [hometext] => Was gonna write this as a real apology but then my anger took hold of my hands and typed it for me... [bodytext] => I’m sorry for the cash I stole, food I nicked, Lies I told,
I’m sorry for the tears you cried, wet and salty, can’t be dried.

I’m sorry for the times I hurt, times I hit, times I smirked,
I’m sorry for the emotionless face, ghastly lifestyle, out of place.

I’m sorry for those 14 wasted years, killing you inside and out,
I’m sorry for the times you felt the need to break out and shout.

I’m sorry foster-mom for all these things which I am,
But I can truly see by now, my life was all a scam.

You used me for the extra money the agency gave to you,
You never gave me a penny from it, not one or even two.

I lived my life with a deepened sadness which welled up and nearly killed me,
Just to find out now that I was the reason we lived in a big house right beside the sea.

So stop feeding propaganda to my real mom,
If she continues to see me as a lost cause, I’ll blow up like a bomb.

So let me show you this unaccepted apology,
Don’t touch it woman, this crap was never meant to be.

Go on and continue to feed that face of yours,
Just remember, it will all fall down on you in due course.

So now I ponder if I should serve my lifelong repentance,
It’s either that or send you to court and get you a prison sentence.
-Jason
[comments] => 6 [counter] => 425 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Astralbermudian [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 20 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

Unaccepted Apologies- Lifelong Repentance

Contributed by Astralbermudian on Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 07:27:51 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

I’m sorry for the cash I stole, food I nicked, Lies I told,
I’m sorry for the tears you cried, wet and salty, can’t be dried.

I’m sorry for the times I hurt, times I hit, times I smirked,
I’m sorry for the emotionless face, ghastly lifestyle, out of place.

I’m sorry for those 14 wasted years, killing you inside and out,
I’m sorry for the times you felt the need to break out and shout.

I’m sorry foster-mom for all these things which I am,
But I can truly see by now, my life was all a scam.

You used me for the extra money the agency gave to you,
You never gave me a penny from it, not one or even two.

I lived my life with a deepened sadness which welled up and nearly killed me,
Just to find out now that I was the reason we lived in a big house right beside the sea.

So stop feeding propaganda to my real mom,
If she continues to see me as a lost cause, I’ll blow up like a bomb.

So let me show you this unaccepted apology,
Don’t touch it woman, this crap was never meant to be.

Go on and continue to feed that face of yours,
Just remember, it will all fall down on you in due course.

So now I ponder if I should serve my lifelong repentance,
It’s either that or send you to court and get you a prison sentence.
-Jason

Copyright Â© Astralbermudian ... [ 2005-10-17 19:27:51]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Unaccepted Apologies- Lifelong Repentance (User Rating: 1 )
by nail-to-the-head on Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 07:44:02 PM AEST
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i really dont know wot to say, theres so much emotion in this. brilliant write! keep up the good work, i look forward to seein more from you. x

+ nail-to-the-head +

Re: Unaccepted Apologies- Lifelong Repentance (User Rating: 1 )
by Mild_Tempest on Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 07:49:17 PM AEST
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Wow, great poem. I loved all of it. Especially the intense emotions.

Re: Unaccepted Apologies- Lifelong Repentance (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 07:50:27 PM AEST
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Heart wrenching write.
Sounds like you've been to hell and back.
Hang tuff friend and hope things get much more plesent for u really soon.
luv, huggs, prayer,
emy

Re: Unaccepted Apologies- Lifelong Repentance (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 08:52:30 PM AEST
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I've done that, started off writing to apologize, then just starting thinking about things, anger can sometimes consume, and we regret things we say. Very heartfelt, and honest write, enjoyed reading, hope it gets better for you.

-Cassy

Re: Unaccepted Apologies- Lifelong Repentance (User Rating: 1 )
by enigma on Monday, 23rd January 2006 @ 11:58:44 AM AEST
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...can you imagine just how precious and incredibly loveable you were the day you were born...your incredible worth...your essential value...your unimaginable significance...

...anything that tries to convince you that that is no longer true, is a lie...all the behavior that you feel you need to appologize for were simply screams for help...that nobody was listening or if they were they couldn't understand wasn't and isn't your fault...it isn't their fault either...society needs to learn not to assign culpability, blame, fault and to use that energy to learn the langauge of pain, the many different ways we all scream for help...probably a major reason nobody understands is that we are all screaming so loud...I only learned this recently at the age of fifty-four...I'm a slow learner...

...the first paragraph...it's true...regardless of what you tell yourself or others try to tell you, that first paragraph describes you to a T...me, too!

...if we're gonna go down, at least we'll go down kicking and screaming...

ron...enigma

Re: Unaccepted Apologies- Lifelong Repentance (User Rating: 1 )
by brew on Monday, 23rd January 2006 @ 12:06:55 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Never give up or in.~ Things happen with each, yet we learn to grow and move on. Powerful write, full of hate, sad, and then love which never found which way to go.! Keep posting........there is some talent hiding beneath and wanting to explode. Thanks for sharing

Brew~

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