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Array ( [sid] => 107914 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Low in depression, Masked by false happiness. [time] => 2005-10-17 12:36:11 [hometext] => yeah I wrote this around 3 in the morning please read and review its basically my life in a nutshell.. [bodytext] => Sometimes when I lay in bed, I wonder why I'm still not dead,
with every slash upon my head, I opened my eyes and watched as it bled.

A cutter's life for me it is, where my perception without bliss,
who's reality falls with a kiss, when this small boy lost his happiness.

Twas only five when I lost all life, twas when my Gran cut me with a knife,
watching it bleed I lost all fear, twas only five when I entered foster care.

Lying and stealing became my life, causing mayhem causing strife,
never faltering with each blow, pain and suffering I came to know.

Now I'm sixteen thinking of death, waiting and praying for my last breath,
although I may be older, wiser, fitter, I'm still only five,young, cold and bitter.

- Jason [comments] => 5 [counter] => 190 [topic] => 13 [informant] => Astralbermudian [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 20 [ratings] => 4 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )

Low in depression, Masked by false happiness.

Contributed by Astralbermudian on Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 12:36:11 PM in AEST
Topic: DarkPoetry

Sometimes when I lay in bed, I wonder why I'm still not dead,
with every slash upon my head, I opened my eyes and watched as it bled.

A cutter's life for me it is, where my perception without bliss,
who's reality falls with a kiss, when this small boy lost his happiness.

Twas only five when I lost all life, twas when my Gran cut me with a knife,
watching it bleed I lost all fear, twas only five when I entered foster care.

Lying and stealing became my life, causing mayhem causing strife,
never faltering with each blow, pain and suffering I came to know.

Now I'm sixteen thinking of death, waiting and praying for my last breath,
although I may be older, wiser, fitter, I'm still only five,young, cold and bitter.

- Jason

Copyright © Astralbermudian ... [ 2005-10-17 12:36:11]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Low in depression, Masked by false happiness. (User Rating: 1 )
by little_genna on Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 02:41:51 PM AEST
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I wont say I know your exact pain but I can certainly relate. this is a masterpiece of pain. I really hate that part of my own life but there is not much i can. though i have finally be persuaded to seek help.

I love this poem even though it holds so much raw and painful emotions that i seriously relate to in a bad way.

Dont give up....

Re: Low in depression, Masked by false happiness. (User Rating: 1 )
by xXxmegsxXx on Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 05:18:20 PM AEST
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a beautiful poem, shame it was inspired but such pain

Re: Low in depression, Masked by false happiness. (User Rating: 1 )
by crazy on Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 05:46:15 PM AEST
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you sound like my friend she was abused when she was young was a cutter did drugs(i got her off them)she is depressed she tells me thing that you have just described in your poem
i think you have a lot of feelings in this one i really like it even thow it represents uch pain
xoxo crazy

Re: Low in depression, Masked by false happiness. (User Rating: 1 )
by thumper on Tuesday, 18th October 2005 @ 07:06:43 AM AEST
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I lived a life of abuse, and it never really leaves you. Don't give up hope, there is a better life for you out there, after all, didn't you say you are 16? I hope you find peace in your life. This was a good write although it depressed me some. It touched me and that's what it's all about. Keep on writing.
Thumper ;o)

Re: Low in depression, Masked by false happiness. (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Monday, 23rd January 2006 @ 08:56:41 AM AEST
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Avery sad, heart wrenching write.
It breaks my heart to know these things happen.
Hang tuff.
lub, big huggs, prayer,
emy

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