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Array
(
[sid] => 107883
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Balance
[time] => 2005-10-17 01:57:06
[hometext] => I took a chance and fell in love with a friend. Once again fate takes me down a road I wish I didnt have to travel.
[bodytext] => Balance Yin has Yang A circle formed. Endless, Uniform, Perfect symmetry in their union. We met a day past midsummer’s eve Fate? Perhaps. The year’s longest day now past. A journey ended Another beginning Her raven hair, Her dark eyes Her very essence An assault on my inner defense. I was guarded, unbalanced Happily spiraling through 3 dimensions, On an curvilinear deviation, from my planned trajectory So many, So many loved and lost. So much pain I don’t want to feel anymore. Balance the pain with martinis Balance the emptiness by working to exhaustion Balance the spiritual void with science and reason It is very cold in space, so I will dress warm. These were my resolutions The bargain I made with the Devil Spare me the pain Distract me from the emptiness Numb my spirit with intellectual arguments. And you can have whatever is left in the end. And in the midst of it all, I found her I had to know her. As a moth to the flame Ignoring the danger – Drawn to the bright light Yin and Yang Intense beauty married to exceptional intellect Spiritual peace mixed with science and reason A dichotomy wrapped in an enigma. I must. I have to at least try. To let the opportunity pass Would be self betrayal. The summer passed I made a friend Friendship - hinting of possibilities. The light within her indigo eyes Illuminated the dark corners of my soul. Her door, left slightly open Offered me a glimpse Of who I Wanted Wanted to be like Wanted to be with She never once misled It was a chance I took To make a friend To share a feeling To bask in the glow of her aura But fall has come The symbolic reaper Who visits me grinning To remind me of the finite Within the infinite. So the stroll along the river The walk in the park The long talks over dinner Give way to the casual comment “I met someone – it’s explosive – I might move to CA” Once again I stare into the abyss I reply – That’s great – you deserve to be happy I feel – gut punch – nausea – the cold chill Guilt – the conflict of genuine good will for her And self pity over the rending of my psyche Again Hope is shattered Her happiness is important to me So much more so than mine So for me, too There will be balance Yin and Yang Always Good with Bad Serenity with Chaos Pleasure with Pain My moment of Zen has come For ages I have peered over the edge Into the abyss Pushing back Gathering my composure - Swallow hard Stand up keep - walking forward But now I realize what I have seen The emptiness into which I have stared is not the abyss after all It is the mirror into my soul So many, So many loved and lost. So much pain I don’t want to feel anymore. So I will Balance the pain with martinis Balance the emptiness by working to exhaustion Balance the spiritual void with science and reason It is very cold in space, So I will dress warm. And you can have whatever is left in the end. [comments] => 5 [counter] => 385 [topic] => 22 [informant] => rogergouldnc [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => LostLove )
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