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Array ( [sid] => 107864 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Untitled Song [time] => 2005-10-16 20:54:22 [hometext] => Ok, so I don't usually post this kind of stuff, but I wrote this a while back and I'd like to get some opinions on it. I've already written music for it, so tell me what you think. [bodytext] => VERSE I:
My heart is pounding, my mind is racing
The more is my unrest
The lights are blinding, my hands are shaky
All I want is rest

VERSE II:
She isn't with me, the pain it fills me
The void in me has grown
I feel divided, the sole survivor
And I am all alone

CHORUS:
I'm falling apart
And there's nothing more that I can do
It's breaking my heart
My soul's becoming cracked and bruised
What can I do

VERSE III:
The world is turning, I keep on hurting
I'm alone in my misery
The gods have cursed me, my life is burning
I guess that it was meant to be

CHORUS:
I'm falling apart
And there's nothing more that I can do
It's breaking my heart
My soul's becoming cracked and bruised
What can I do

INSTRUMENTAL BREAK

CHORUS:
I'm falling apart
And there's nothing more that I can do
It's breaking my heart
My soul's becoming cracked and bruised
What can I do

FADE OUT [comments] => 7 [counter] => 213 [topic] => 34 [informant] => MrWrite [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => SongLyrics )

Untitled Song

Contributed by MrWrite on Sunday, 16th October 2005 @ 08:54:22 PM in AEST
Topic: SongLyrics

VERSE I:
My heart is pounding, my mind is racing
The more is my unrest
The lights are blinding, my hands are shaky
All I want is rest

VERSE II:
She isn't with me, the pain it fills me
The void in me has grown
I feel divided, the sole survivor
And I am all alone

CHORUS:
I'm falling apart
And there's nothing more that I can do
It's breaking my heart
My soul's becoming cracked and bruised
What can I do

VERSE III:
The world is turning, I keep on hurting
I'm alone in my misery
The gods have cursed me, my life is burning
I guess that it was meant to be

CHORUS:
I'm falling apart
And there's nothing more that I can do
It's breaking my heart
My soul's becoming cracked and bruised
What can I do

INSTRUMENTAL BREAK

CHORUS:
I'm falling apart
And there's nothing more that I can do
It's breaking my heart
My soul's becoming cracked and bruised
What can I do

FADE OUT

Copyright © MrWrite ... [ 2005-10-16 20:54:22]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Untitled Song (User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on Sunday, 16th October 2005 @ 09:10:33 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I think this is good from a poem standpoint. As a song it is missing a hook but i think the instrumental break can compensate for that. (That is a non professional opinion anyway)

Re: Untitled Song (User Rating: 1 )
by matts_sweetie_04 on Sunday, 16th October 2005 @ 09:20:49 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i really liked it. I know a lot of people can relate to it. I can. Even though I am happy right now the pain is still there deep inside and it comes out the very second I am alone without something to keep my ocupied.

Re: Untitled Song (User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on Sunday, 16th October 2005 @ 09:29:20 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I like this as a poem. I feel it would make a great song. I dont have the talent to put my words to music ( dang it) i can play and I write but the two never come together! You have a great talent when you can put them altogether would love to hear it sometime!

Michelle

Re: Untitled Song (User Rating: 1 )
by crazy on Sunday, 16th October 2005 @ 09:34:26 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

this would make a good song and i know how much it hurts loved it nice write

Re: Untitled Song (User Rating: 1 )
by djs on Sunday, 16th October 2005 @ 10:26:02 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

it's good. i just wish i could hear the music with it. but even without the music, i really enjoyed it!

Re: Untitled Song (User Rating: 1 )
by brokenwings on Monday, 17th October 2005 @ 02:29:50 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

good poem, would make an even better song.

Re: Untitled Song (User Rating: 1 )
by Gothchyk on Monday, 24th October 2005 @ 10:20:35 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

this is great, i would love to hear the music you set it to, amazing write!!

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