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Array ( [sid] => 107157 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Her... [time] => 2005-10-05 20:06:15 [hometext] => [bodytext] => heartless, careless and lost in this bleak place
wondering if she really does not miss my smiling face
desperately alone, into a bottomless pit i am falling
and hoping for a saviour but nobody answers my calling

she has cast a shadow on the only hope i once held
i tried oh so hard to keep my emotions for her quelled
fearfully aware that all that mattered is now gone
and knowing that all i couldn't ever do was move on

drained and now lifeless it still rests on my shoulder
minute by minute her burn somehow leaves it colder
while the beating has stopped i still feel the pain
and though my heart is now dead my anguish will remain [comments] => 5 [counter] => 205 [topic] => 48 [informant] => mccscratch [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 34 [ratings] => 7 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )

Her...

Contributed by mccscratch on Wednesday, 5th October 2005 @ 08:06:15 PM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry

heartless, careless and lost in this bleak place
wondering if she really does not miss my smiling face
desperately alone, into a bottomless pit i am falling
and hoping for a saviour but nobody answers my calling

she has cast a shadow on the only hope i once held
i tried oh so hard to keep my emotions for her quelled
fearfully aware that all that mattered is now gone
and knowing that all i couldn't ever do was move on

drained and now lifeless it still rests on my shoulder
minute by minute her burn somehow leaves it colder
while the beating has stopped i still feel the pain
and though my heart is now dead my anguish will remain

Copyright © mccscratch ... [ 2005-10-05 20:06:15]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Her... (User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on Wednesday, 5th October 2005 @ 08:09:56 PM AEST
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this is a very powerful emotional write.. you can feel the loss and the pain from being hurt awesome job i can totally relate in a way great job!!

JENNI

Re: Her... (User Rating: 1 )
by Zanobia on Wednesday, 5th October 2005 @ 08:58:04 PM AEST
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gosh i really liked it
yor have a real gift for emotional stuff.
it was really powerful.

Re: Her... (User Rating: 1 )
by classicfailedhero on Wednesday, 5th October 2005 @ 10:06:58 PM AEST
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pretty good pretty neat
i like the morbid use of words

Re: Her... (User Rating: 1 )
by OzChick on Wednesday, 5th October 2005 @ 10:11:01 PM AEST
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Very emotional and powerful poem, well done.
However, when referring to yourself you should use a capital 'I' not lower case. Proper punctuation adds impact to the written word and with such an emotional poem I think you let yourself down on that score. I liked it though, well done.

Re: Her... (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Wednesday, 12th October 2005 @ 12:39:54 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Wow!How I can really relate to this write. I really felt your pain and emotion as I read.

Thanks for sharing.

Take care,

Tim
:-)

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