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Array
(
[sid] => 106468
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Monster
[time] => 2005-09-25 17:23:00
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I remember sitting in your passengers’ side, looking out the rear-view mirror, you cared more about that care then you did me. I remember thinking, how happy we were going to be, how perfect you were, at least what I thought, when we stopped, you came and took my hand, I smiled, you were always like that, doing cute little things, to seem like the flawless boyfriend. I just looked into your eyes as you led me up the stairs, I knew your intentions, and you knew my perspective on that… I wasn’t ready. You looked at me, implying, and I just looked at you, I just stood there, you knew I wasn’t ready. But I don’t think you cared, you couldn’t have, I could feel you coming closer, when I looked in your eyes, I could tell. You wouldn’t let me leave, I trusted you. You didn’t know I’d gone through this before, personally, I don’t think it would have mattered, even when you heard me crying, pleading for you to stop, you didn’t, because you didn’t care, you never did. For almost three years, I was trapped in your grasp, and no one ever knew, they never saw the bruises, the cuts, the tears. They never saw the real you either. You watched over me like a hawk, and for what seemed like forever, I was in a cage, afraid to free myself, because of you, ashamed, I blame myself, I could have stopped you, maybe if I went to someone, but I didn’t, not until you took it too far, did anything happen, even then, I tried to protect you, scared, of what you might do. But they still don’t know the half of it. You said you were a man, what you did does not classify you as a man, someone who can take someone’s life and crush it, in numerous ways, is not a man, you took my life away, made it so I couldn't trust anyone you left scars, emotional and physical and all the while, you laughed, thinking it made you a bigger person, you’re a monster, not a man. [comments] => 3 [counter] => 166 [topic] => 65 [informant] => autumn_zephyr [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 15 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => toughstuff )
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