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| Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 29-May 20:05:39 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 105904
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Broken Self
[time] => 2005-09-17 19:57:33
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => How am I supposed to have Faith and Belief when my hopes and desires are always shattered? To them, my heart is merely a shape to be stepped on, my mind a masterpiece to be toyed with, and my body a mere vessel to fondle. In a silent family that speaks so loud, no one ever heard my cries. Yet, they were so quick to add to my anger and resentment quick to want to deny and forget everything. Leaving me to fight alone and watch, watch as everything I loved disappeared. Continually watching as things I held dear slipped away and things I dismayed drew near. Simply to satisfying their own selfish needs and ignoring my pleas Leading me to believe I am to blame for my own hypocrisy. Silent pleas seem to count for nothing at all. I can’t seem to understand what I did wrong or how to rid my memories. I yearn for sleep, the only time when things are at peace and wish I could remember the days of innocence, but can't. I envy the life of children and wish those days were still upon us. Don't know who to look to or who to blame for stealing time from me. All these games are causing the pain. I can’t trust the future when my instincts prove right I can’t be happy when it’s a continuous fight. Conspiracies brought upon by all add to my insecurities and cause me to fall. The speck of pride is barely hanging on inside. Several attempts to start my life a new, with a critical awareness of the damage that others can do. Hurting me mentally and physically for their pleasure and gain and leaving me with nothing to attain. Stripping me of my pride and dignity for a life time to come. Sorrow now creeps uncontrollably in my sleep and wake and never seems to cease. It lingers always and raped me of my peace. I have been fighting this battle for years on end Standing alone against a raging army of silent enemies who seem to have forgotten the past. It hurts to know that no one will embrace my broken self and help me heal from years of pain. I will have to face reality and continue on this journey where the present seems so insecure and my awaiting future so unsure. I yearn for peace to fill my soul and need the comfort to make me whole. I need to find an everlasting escape to make me free. I need to find this forgiveness within me. Although heartache often leaves a scar, being blind as some are, I need to accept my unconceivable past, and forgive those whose selfish eyes refuse to open and silent tongue refuse to speak. [comments] => 5 [counter] => 236 [topic] => 75 [informant] => tdp [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => anguished )
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