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Mouth Wide Shut
Contributed by
anitajames
on
Thursday, 15th September 2005 @ 09:16:41 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
I'm screaming with my mouth wide shut.
Nothing happens, it's not enough.
I'm breathing, but no air gets in.
I'm sinking fast. Not if, but when.
The clock ticks fast,
yet still it stands.
Teardrops are falling through my hands.
The earth around me goes day to night.
Shattered shards of me in the light.
I want to put me back together.
I wonder if I can,
If I can ever.....
Copyright ©
anitajames
... [
2005-09-15 21:16:41] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Mouth Wide Shut
(User Rating: 1 ) by JHONEN32629 on
Thursday, 15th September 2005 @ 09:37:13 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I really liked it! It was a good, solid poem with lots of detail, it's amazing how much detail can be in such a short poem, keep up the good work! |
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Re: Mouth Wide Shut
(User Rating: 1 ) by Twysted_Fate on
Friday, 16th September 2005 @ 02:08:39 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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not bad, not bad, the whole structure, I mean, how it was put together was very creative and precise and easy to follow.. can't ask for more in poetry, in that department.. |
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Re: Mouth Wide Shut
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Friday, 16th September 2005 @ 09:27:15 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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god write from a good writer. keep em coming,, |
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Re: Mouth Wide Shut
(User Rating: 1 ) by Wachumiri on
Monday, 3rd October 2005 @ 06:54:42 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I love the ending... very well written.
Take care. May you find all of you.
Take care.
David |
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Re: Mouth Wide Shut
(User Rating: 1 ) by Caged Soul on
Monday, 3rd October 2005 @ 08:13:05 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i liked the flow and structure of this poem.
There are some really fresh imagery in this one.
Lovely :)
~souLBro~ |
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