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| Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 29-May 15:37:42 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 105544
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Lifes Lessons I've Learnt Along The Way
[time] => 2005-09-12 12:39:38
[hometext] => I was writing to my ex in jail explaining why I was leaving and going home. But while I was writing it I realized that I've learnt some important lessons along the way that couldn't be more true and that home is really where the heart is.
[bodytext] => Brandon, I know I promised to be here Waiting for you to come home. But I've decided to go back to Maine I can't handle being alone. Especially not now Where I've lost everything and everyone I''ve ever loved and known And those people I thought would always be there...... Well they're not Turns out they really didn't care Now, I'm surrounded by unwanted change And walking amongst the dead I'm waking up in new places to new faces Hoping from bed to bed And sketching cuz everyone's a fed. Everything is different And none of it familiar I keep searching for this dream- Only held back by reality Where nothings as it seems I guess it's really more of a feeling than a dream. A feeling I''ve been longing Happiness within myself, comfort and belonging. But finally realized What my mom always said from the start. That I won't find it here And to look inside my heart. And she was right...... As she always is I never really did find it here. And it''s been a little over a year. When I look back at my time here It only reminds me of sadness and heartache The "real world"- Where there's little give and to much take And you see, I''m not use to this I grew up in a very different world Ever seen Pleasantville??? Well, I came from a small town called Dixfield.... They're kinda the same Where you walk down the road and people honk and wave...... A place where everyone smiles and knows your name. It's actually a comforting memory Knowing that a place like that still exists I'm sorry I took it for granted. I was young And back then I didn't understand Eager to be independent and on my own Childish, when things got rough.... I packed up and ran. And here I go- Doing it again I''ll be the first to admit- I never thought I would want to go back to home The truth is, Maine is all I''ve ever really known. The light came on... And I knew what I had to do So I pointed to the stars And with a slow and scratchy voice I declared.... Jen phone home! It was classic....I had ET beat! Yeah, you make think it's funny But for me- This was a giant leap. And now that things are out in the open To myself and to you I must confess..... As long as I am here I'' never find "real" happiness. When I close my eyes I can only see My beautiful, amazing ,little girl, abby And you know what? It just makes me smile. And it feels real good It''s been awhile. And I realize that she is all I need She''s my heart and soul She gives me a reason to believe.... And a reason to hold on. Remember that dream... That feeling I've been searching for? It''s her....It's where I belong. And now I've compicated things by having a baby with you. I was being selfish for staying here Cuz, my daughter needed me too. Now I'm caught inbetween Two worlds that are so far apart But this time, I''m doing something for me I''m going to follow my heart. I''m going home.... To my comfort zone. And if you truely love me- And we're meant to be..... You'll find a phone- You'll find me. I've done all I can I've tried my hardest to work things out with you. But I can't hold on to someone Whos heart doesn't feel the same. The pain you left inside me...it hurts. But I've only got myself to blame. I should've seen it coming And stopped it from the start. I should of kicked you to the curb The first time you broke my heart. When they say love is blind- They weren't kidding. Your gentle ways and soft touch that attracted me.... Swept me off my feet. And for awhile I forgot That someone who loves you Won't steal from you, lie to you, or cheat. What was I thinking? And what were you? You shoul be ashamed of yourself For deceiving a heart that couldn't be more true! The sad thing is you probably don't even see it- And maybe you never will. But for the record... I would of stuck by your side and been with you forever. I always treated you right I don't care what you or anyone thinks. The truth is, I only left when you hit me when we would fight. Remember....I sure do. Infact....we never really fought. I never said a word Or gave an opinion...It was all you. And no one in this world will ever really know the hell you put me through. Yet, for some reason I still care. I still love you with all of my heart But at the same time I have so much hate that I can't let go of. I want to- I really honestly do. But the truth is, maybe I never will be able to..... And maybe this really is goodbye...the end. Sometimes when you hurt someone The scars are too deep to fully mend. But through all of this I learnt that no matter what you do.... Remember to yourself you must always be true Don't settle for less And becareful of who you give your heart to. [comments] => 2 [counter] => 221 [topic] => 55 [informant] => PrincessJen [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => dedicatedpoems )
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