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Array
(
[sid] => 105258
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Dear God
[time] => 2005-09-07 20:10:50
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Dear God, Please forgive me For I have sinned in many ways. I’m not proud of myself Everyday I am reminded…….everyday I pay. I realized that I’ve made many mistakes And that many people don’t trust me anymore Please give me one more chance to show you and them That’s all that I’m asking for. I know that I don’t deserve this chance And I know you, as well, have lost some faith in me But I’m a good person and I love my daughter With this chance I know that you will see. You see, for some time I was away from you I was away from everyone I loved………even me. I thought I was in love with this guy…. Who I’m now pregnant by Who abused me…. And for some reason I still loved him endlessly. I don’t know how I could let all of this happen…. Especially for so long… But after awhile when running away didn’t work anymore I felt like this is where I belonged. Because, by that time, I had no family and no more friends. I think that was when I talked to you last And prayed for this to not be where my life ends. And you saved me…… And took me away You took me to the emergency room…. But I knew that you were there and I’d be okay. For some time I kept asking myself What I could do to make him love me more Because maybe then……… The beatings would stop. But no matter how hard I tried It always ended with ambulances and cops. Now as I sit here 7 months pregnant And face the harsh reality of it all My depression just grows deeper And all I wanna do is ball. How do you explain to your unborn child someday, That their father is in jail for the next 15 years of their life And charged with domestic violence 2, Rape 2, and unlawful imprisionment…… On their mom while she was pregnant with them………… Nothing will be the same…. And maybe….just maybe…… If I would’ve left sooner things would be different…… So really………. Who’s to blame????? [comments] => 2 [counter] => 156 [topic] => 65 [informant] => PrincessJen [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => toughstuff )
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