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Array ( [sid] => 104671 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => And you ask Why? [time] => 2005-08-30 03:30:31 [hometext] => I thought i had an answer, I know i don't [bodytext] => When your love is lost to a sink-hole
No hope of feelings returned
You seek refuge in another kind of pain
And so the search begins.
Tis not love but lust, that draws you into their arms,
the need to bring turmoil upon your being.
The need to disorientate your soul,
A distraction is what is sought.
But this action is in vain
For enduring a night with a perfect stranger
And not allowing your true love to surface
Leaves you with a sour taste in your mouth.
When the morning sun awakes you
You refuse to open your eyes
Confirmation of your betrayal is too much.
Eventually, you open your eyes,
And let your gaze rest upon the beds other occupant
You watch his chest rise and fall
As he breathes heavily in a slumber.
All the while, a raging hate consumes you
Directed only at yourself
Why can’t it be him? Why is it you keep doing this.
Is it really making the pain go away.
Why is it not working.
As you gather your belongings
And attempt a silent retreat
You promise yourself one thing
You swear that he will be the last.
As you make this noble pact
Reality hits you hard
You are more than aware that next time
When the pain becomes too much
All of this will be a good idea.
An ironic smile spreads across your face
You feel as though you know this stranger before you
If not him, than the many before, and the many to come.
Are they not all the same?
A strong pain reliever.
You ask why do I do this
Good question.
[comments] => 1 [counter] => 240 [topic] => 43 [informant] => Katie-Kate [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 10 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

And you ask Why?

Contributed by Katie-Kate on Tuesday, 30th August 2005 @ 03:30:31 AM in AEST
Topic: oops

When your love is lost to a sink-hole
No hope of feelings returned
You seek refuge in another kind of pain
And so the search begins.
Tis not love but lust, that draws you into their arms,
the need to bring turmoil upon your being.
The need to disorientate your soul,
A distraction is what is sought.
But this action is in vain
For enduring a night with a perfect stranger
And not allowing your true love to surface
Leaves you with a sour taste in your mouth.
When the morning sun awakes you
You refuse to open your eyes
Confirmation of your betrayal is too much.
Eventually, you open your eyes,
And let your gaze rest upon the beds other occupant
You watch his chest rise and fall
As he breathes heavily in a slumber.
All the while, a raging hate consumes you
Directed only at yourself
Why can’t it be him? Why is it you keep doing this.
Is it really making the pain go away.
Why is it not working.
As you gather your belongings
And attempt a silent retreat
You promise yourself one thing
You swear that he will be the last.
As you make this noble pact
Reality hits you hard
You are more than aware that next time
When the pain becomes too much
All of this will be a good idea.
An ironic smile spreads across your face
You feel as though you know this stranger before you
If not him, than the many before, and the many to come.
Are they not all the same?
A strong pain reliever.
You ask why do I do this
Good question.

Copyright Â© Katie-Kate ... [ 2005-08-30 03:30:31]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: And you ask Why? (User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on Tuesday, 30th August 2005 @ 06:36:48 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Please don't be so hard on yourself. Just take it one day at a time. Forgive yourself and except god's forgiveness. We all fall in one way or another. No one is an exception to this rule even tho some would never have the guts u have to admit. Knowing is half the battle.
Take care of yourself.
luv, huggs, prayer,
emy

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