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Array
(
[sid] => 104103
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Kisses
[time] => 2005-08-21 21:01:20
[hometext] => i think i might have gone overboard with the adjectives. comments por favor??
[bodytext] => I miss it. Does that make me a monster? I miss watching the blood seep through my sleeve, And the certain pain that accompanied it. I am a monster, But I enjoy it. I want to hurt. I would gladly be beaten, As long as I could see my blood, And feel it come through my clothes. I would gladly be verbally assaulted, just so I would have a legitimate reason to cry. I am yearning for a reason to despise him. I am praying for evidence of his evil ways, So I can show the world the true monster. And why I have become one. I miss it. I miss being able to feel it, And being able to escape everything. But my one friend, my precious escape, And the razorblade kisses it created, Were taken from me By a boy, whose kisses are sweeter Than any strawberry gash I could ever supply. And as much as I truly adore this boy, And as hard as I’ve fallen for him, I miss it. I wish to be left alone, And I wish that I had never volunteered my secret. I miss having something only I know, Something that I have, that is mine alone, That I can use for myself, to my advantages. So I am a monster. I am not the monster. I do not purposely drive away my family, At least, not until now. I pretend to be fine in hopes that they will see through me. But that does not happen. It seems the only one that knows me Is one I have not seen in years, But yet knows me as if I were his favorite movie, Inside and out, As though he has studied me for all the years he could never see me. To you, the reader, This was not meant to be a poem, Simply just poetic thoughts, Meant to scare whoever reads this into tears. So I miss my razorblade kisses. I am madly in love with the boy who has replaced them. I simply wish that I could feel them again, If just for a moment, To see my crimson tears fall into the fabric on my leg, and look in hideous delight upon my bloody masterpiece. [comments] => 6 [counter] => 233 [topic] => 72 [informant] => CBlake [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 14 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => self-harmpoetry )
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