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Array
(
[sid] => 103291
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => I can't always make you happy
[time] => 2005-08-11 22:45:23
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => Why cant I be sad and have my bad days... you’re all allowed yours when things don’t go your way you stay away and avoid contact but I can’t... I can’t be sad... I can’t get mad? What am I supposed to do just smile all the time and act happy? Be as fake as them? Smile when I'm hurting? And laugh when enraged? Never leave this cage, and always feel the same? It’s not always sunny no matter what you think... I teeter on the brink... of falling apart everyday I struggle with what to say even if it doesn’t show... I cant always make you happy sometimes I don’t want to joke I wanna cry and yell and be the one that’s angry... not to play the role and make all the evil go away I don’t always know what to say sometimes I fall to it as well... often I wish I had the answers to the questions on your mind but sometimes I cant find my own way... so how can I lead you... afraid of where it ends not knowing where to turn afraid ill drag you down into my hell as well to burn I cant find my way out... don’t know what else to do no where I can see that has room left for me its tough to cry out to you and tell you what I feel or ask you for help cause I'm not sure of what is real and what I create out of my own fears... sometimes I'm as lost as you, even if I don’t show it... [comments] => 8 [counter] => 343 [topic] => 48 [informant] => holderofthestone [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 9 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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