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Neverland
Contributed by
brew
on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 07:29:21 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
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Far out in a neverland so free
Is the one who holds a golden, key
To make the key, become a tool
You must first, complete a daring dool
To make the heart, of dark and cold
Become a sunny , warm and bold
Make it happen by the stike of mid-nite
If not, by then, its put of sight
Copyright ©
brew
... [
2005-08-03 19:29:21]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Neverland
(User Rating: 1 )
by paul_x_walker on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 07:30:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| this rocks good job |
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Re: Neverland
(User Rating: 1 )
by paul_x_walker on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 07:31:24 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| awesome write |
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Re: Neverland
(User Rating: 1 )
by hardrocker15198916 on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 07:58:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
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intriging piece
quite inspiring really
i like it alot
-->Rae |
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Re: Neverland
(User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 08:04:57 PM AEST
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a Message)
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an incredible and unique style all your own Brew..
great write!
B |
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Re: Neverland
(User Rating: 1 )
by vibes2go on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 08:21:51 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| what's a dool? guess if I wasn't so lazy I could go look it up.. |
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Re: Neverland
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampire_Slander on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 08:57:28 PM AEST
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| I like it. |
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Re: Neverland
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stew on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 09:41:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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this is a nicely written piece. I hope you don't feel so dark anymore.
stew
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Re: Neverland
(User Rating: 1 )
by poisonpen00ad on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 10:19:35 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Good...i didnt think it was so dark though but really good anyway.
C. |
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Re: Neverland
(User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on
Wednesday, 3rd August 2005 @ 10:43:50 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Some pretty good expression in this for such a short piece. A couple typos you may have overlooked...I didn't find this to be 'dark', more sad, or even 'grief and tragic.' Nice job!
Scorp. |
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Re: Neverland
(User Rating: 1 )
by bernard2 on
Thursday, 4th August 2005 @ 06:41:25 AM AEST
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| Brew a short but good poem just a couple of speeling mistakes. read through again before posting. Top marks fro bernard2 |
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Re: Neverland
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 4th August 2005 @ 09:49:52 AM AEST
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a Message)
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this is a fascinating peice of writtiing very captivating to read . . .
Ben |
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Re: Neverland
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Friday, 5th August 2005 @ 09:30:22 PM AEST
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a Message)
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A truly great effort put in this write. I wouldn't say it's dark, but more sad instead. Short, simple and well done.
Hugs,
Dreamer |
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Re: Neverland
(User Rating: 1 )
by englishprincej on
Wednesday, 24th August 2005 @ 08:54:23 AM AEST
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Not very dark but please, what is a dool ?
As suggested by others, a spelling check wouldn't go amiss. |
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Re: Neverland
(User Rating: 1 )
by reprobate on
Saturday, 1st October 2005 @ 01:01:41 PM AEST
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i can understand the 'duel', if it's worth having, it's worth fighting for but i don't understand the time limit. a true love would not be that shallow...
nice
thanks for sharing |
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