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Array
(
[sid] => 102507
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => I Fear Death
[time] => 2005-08-02 14:03:43
[hometext] => I wrote this poem when I was in the midst of one of my paranoia attacks. Bless my bf for always being patient with me when I have one...
[bodytext] => The light flickers on and off inside my head Awake, asleep, alive, dead The cold clutch of the grave is what I dread Awake, asleep, alive, dead 'ou’re just being a hypochondriac again' is what they all said Awake, asleep, alive, dead I lie awake at night sweating and whimpering in my bed Awake, asleep, alive, dead I shouldn’t have watched that movie, that magazine article shouldn’t have been read Awake, asleep, alive, dead My heart flutters and I panic my eyes see a haze of red Awake, asleep, alive, dead My mind creates horrific images, a rapist, a murderer, a bullet made of lead Awake, asleep, alive, dead Watching scary movies before sleeping is not something I recommend Awake, asleep, alive, dead Paranoia gives way and I scream inside my head Awake, asleep, alive, dead I pick up the phone and begin to cry Awake, asleep, alive I hear his voice and I tell him I’m going to die Awake, asleep, alive He calmly tells me it’s all going to be all right Awake, asleep, alive Inside my head I hear the voices scream and thrive Awake, asleep, alive He calms my nerves and sings to me a lullaby Awake, asleep, alive Gone are the imagined demons of my mind Awake, asleep, alive When he finishes I give a contented sigh Awake, asleep, alive He tells me to go to sleep but I don’t want to say good bye Awake, asleep, alive He promises to see me tomorrow and I lie alone in the night Awake, asleep, alive Though I am sad, the bad thoughts I no longer have to defy Awake, asleep, alive My eyes close and into the pillow they seep Awake, asleep My body relaxes and my breaths come from somewhere deep Awake, asleep Now the beautiful dreams appear for my soul to reap Awake, asleep Here is where heart’s desires I can grab and keep Awake, asleep I see my love and I smile, my heart leaps Awake, asleep I can feel my hair swallowing the pillows in a great heap Awake, asleep I see the glittering jewel I want to take But all too soon the jewel is the sun and I am Awake [comments] => 7 [counter] => 168 [topic] => 60 [informant] => Kitty06 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => insomniac )
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