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Array ( [sid] => 102268 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Clouded [time] => 2005-07-29 19:13:48 [hometext] => [bodytext] => Oh how time has stopped
this seeming less nothing
but I go on ever thinking

My thoughts ever growing
questions overlapping
never answered

A whirl of thought
this chaos within me
I strive to find meaning

Pools in my mind
drowning thoughts
in essence

A wheel of doubt
surrounds like a cage
holding potential back

Shy away from praise
no sense of oneself
a creative mind. [comments] => 6 [counter] => 159 [topic] => 43 [informant] => Vampire_Slander [notes] => Edited for spelling as requested. - Moderator_14 [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

Clouded

Contributed by Vampire_Slander on Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 07:13:48 PM in AEST
Topic: oops

Oh how time has stopped
this seeming less nothing
but I go on ever thinking

My thoughts ever growing
questions overlapping
never answered

A whirl of thought
this chaos within me
I strive to find meaning

Pools in my mind
drowning thoughts
in essence

A wheel of doubt
surrounds like a cage
holding potential back

Shy away from praise
no sense of oneself
a creative mind.

Copyright © Vampire_Slander ... [ 2005-07-29 19:13:48]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Clouded (User Rating: 1 )
by PuppyChow on Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 07:41:56 PM AEST
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nice. flows, captures feeling, and definitly gets the reader thinking. i enjoyed it. keep it up.

Re: Clouded (User Rating: 1 )
by je2ica3 on Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 10:33:34 PM AEST
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good write

Re: Clouded (User Rating: 1 )
by Kie-Kie on Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 11:16:51 PM AEST
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It flows nicely... I do hope that you have more self-esteem than this poem lets on... you're a wonderful poet

Love ya'll,
~Kiela~

Re: Clouded (User Rating: 1 )
by Vampire_Slander on Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 11:21:45 PM AEST
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Thanks for the comments, and as for the self esteem.. some times.

Re: Clouded (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Friday, 29th July 2005 @ 11:22:36 PM AEST
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a good self awareness poem, we all need those, because sometimes our stories should only be told poetically. i think this is a bit rough in some places, but i think that does actually work better for the write than smooth flowing.

Re: Clouded (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 30th July 2005 @ 01:20:43 AM AEST
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"questions overlapping"
image -provoking, figurative expression.
beautiful!

"pools in my mind
drowning thoughts
in essence"
-the epicentre of the entirety of this piece.
Abstruse and layered!

"A wheel of doubt"
*nods* intriguing metaphor...refreshing.

The last 3 lines...I can very much relate to.
And yes, what a creative and inspiring mind, that has produced this work.
Well done :)

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