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Array ( [sid] => 102108 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Fantasy [time] => 2005-07-26 18:29:29 [hometext] => I could not think of an appropriate title - any suggestions welcome! I kinda like this one, which I never say about my own work! Tell me what you think! [bodytext] => Dare I taste this bitter fruit you have forbidden me,
Savor the serpents sweet offering,
Sloppily spitting the sour back into thine enemy eyes?
Should I allow these lusty lips uninhibited access,
While peasants stand witness and attest to my treachery;
Your undeniable envy?
Will I treasure the tantalizing tremor
which clouds your faceas my tongue meets his-
My fantasy fading fast into reality:
Your reality into oblivion. [comments] => 5 [counter] => 205 [topic] => 48 [informant] => juliette [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )

Fantasy

Contributed by juliette on Tuesday, 26th July 2005 @ 06:29:29 PM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry

Dare I taste this bitter fruit you have forbidden me,
Savor the serpents sweet offering,
Sloppily spitting the sour back into thine enemy eyes?
Should I allow these lusty lips uninhibited access,
While peasants stand witness and attest to my treachery;
Your undeniable envy?
Will I treasure the tantalizing tremor
which clouds your faceas my tongue meets his-
My fantasy fading fast into reality:
Your reality into oblivion.

Copyright © juliette ... [ 2005-07-26 18:29:29]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Fantasy (User Rating: 1 )
by gwenevere on Tuesday, 26th July 2005 @ 07:17:56 PM AEST
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"The sour and the sweet "would be a good title I think.I agree with you , thids is a very good write, well done ,Ros

Re: Fantasy (User Rating: 1 )
by vibes2go on Tuesday, 26th July 2005 @ 09:54:54 PM AEST
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serpent's tongue ..?
clouded reality ...
serpent's kiss ...

Re: Fantasy (User Rating: 1 )
by Man_On_High on Tuesday, 26th July 2005 @ 10:04:02 PM AEST
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Your title should be..either: "Bitter Fruit" or "Forbidden Fruit"

The first.. because it appears near the beginning
of the write..(best to have the title, if in the poem,
near the beginning or end of the write)
a full circle thing..

The second.. because the word "Fruit" can appear, while you paraphrase the descriptive quality of it, and still grab the attention of the reader with the title..
(blah blah blah.. lol)

"Bitter Fruit"
or
"Forbidden Fruit"
is my opinion..

Great write-

B

Re: Fantasy (User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on Wednesday, 27th July 2005 @ 02:19:22 AM AEST
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Wow!! I loved this!! I think "forbidden Fruit" would be appropriate. Great style.
Jenni

Re: Fantasy (User Rating: 1 )
by Azehr on Thursday, 30th March 2006 @ 08:06:21 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I like it, i agree with the others.

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