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The Doll
Contributed by
CryingInVain
on
Saturday, 23rd July 2005 @ 08:00:38 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Sitting up straight
adjusting my dress
today is the day, I look great
Glancing at your eyes
your fragrance, sweeps my face
praying, as you pass me by
Maybe tomorrow, just maybe,
the light may shine perfectly,
then you will notice me
***********
I still wait, choking on my tears
months have passed,
or perhaps years
The shelf has gotten dusty
my vision of you has gotten dim
your eyes, I can no longer see
But still I wait in vain...
Sitting up straight
adjusting my dress
hoping for the next time you look my way
Copyright ©
CryingInVain
... [
2005-07-23 20:00:38] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The Doll
(User Rating: 1 ) by Misunderstood_gurl on
Saturday, 23rd July 2005 @ 08:18:42 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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awesome! Gr8 job! i feel her pain...you did a great job expressing the emotions...keep it up! |
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Re: The Doll
(User Rating: 1 ) by Vampire_Slander on
Saturday, 23rd July 2005 @ 08:51:04 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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So much emotion put into that poem, I love it. Keep it up. |
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Re: The Doll
(User Rating: 1 ) by thepizzaguy on
Saturday, 23rd July 2005 @ 11:20:29 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This poem for me is quite sad. I feel as if you want the dolls life, but can never have it. Reality is much better though. Trust me. |
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Re: The Doll
(User Rating: 1 ) by blowfish_jane on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 07:38:46 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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An emotional piece worth of more reads and comments. This was heart braking to read. You did well, thanks for sharing.
Jane~ |
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Re: The Doll
(User Rating: 1 ) by hauntedscorp on
Sunday, 24th July 2005 @ 02:24:45 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Very emotive write, and I like how it's relatable in so many ways...You have it under the "Lost love" topic, but I could also see it being; self struggle, sad, beauty, ambiguous...I like the repeated line theme at the beginning and end as well...You expressed yourself in a unique and touching style...Good job! Welcome to YPDC!
Scorp : ) |
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Re: The Doll
(User Rating: 1 ) by Xsitm on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 03:51:33 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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very sad but well written, i liked it a lot |
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Re: The Doll
(User Rating: 1 ) by In_a_while on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 03:43:52 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Very sad and longing. i liked the theme you used...the doll on the shelf. it was very refreshing, such good use of imagery.
a fine expression of what's inside and thanks for sharing it.
dw |
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