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fill
Contributed by
blue_angel
on
Sunday, 10th July 2005 @ 10:47:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
my eyes fill with tears
my heart fills with hate
my head fills with thoughts
visions i create
my spirit fills with doubt
my life fills with pain
my soul fills with struggle
only sorrow i gain
my palms fill with sweat
my face fills with red
my cuts fill with blood
a pointless life led
a tear on my cheek
a knife in my hand
this pain that i feel
you cant understand...
Copyright ©
blue_angel
... [
2005-07-10 22:47:20] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: fill
(User Rating: 1 ) by wizard on
Sunday, 10th July 2005 @ 11:05:55 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i thought the format and rhyming style were great.
i love the desrpitions and emotions too.
wizard |
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Re: fill
(User Rating: 1 ) by Arden on
Sunday, 10th July 2005 @ 11:14:54 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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this poem weeps with saddness.
its very emotional and deep.
good rhyme and expression.
5/5
-Arden |
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Re: fill
(User Rating: 1 ) by vampyrekiss on
Monday, 11th July 2005 @ 12:33:53 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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this is really good :) lots of emotion and what not :) |
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Re: fill
(User Rating: 1 ) by hellsfallenangel on
Monday, 11th July 2005 @ 10:21:15 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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it very good but sad to i like it alot well tu for the read bye
DEMON A.K.A ABBADON |
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Re: fill
(User Rating: 1 ) by sprinter27 on
Monday, 11th July 2005 @ 12:24:12 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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aww... good write, jennie! but i don't want you to hurt yourself! i hate that. please remember that i always have 2 shoulders open that you can cry on. please don't hurt yourself! but it was a great write! i like the words and rhymes. very well put together, keep up the good work!
~shelly
p.s. wishinbg jennie the best of luck! |
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Re: fill
(User Rating: 1 ) by blowfish_jane on
Monday, 11th July 2005 @ 04:45:58 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is such a sad sad poem, yet the words are so hunting. Cool poem i enjoyed it a lot.
Jane xxx |
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Re: fill
(User Rating: 1 ) by deadheadpoet on
Tuesday, 12th July 2005 @ 01:12:17 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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WOW These thoughts that fill you gave you this brilliant write, this wonderful release. I loved the way you wrote this and the way you expressed yourself. I knew a girl like this once a very long time ago. Keep writing. It heals. Much peace to you. Laura |
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Re: fill
(User Rating: 1 ) by Man_On_High on
Tuesday, 12th July 2005 @ 09:32:07 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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your pain is VERY evident..
(thoughts and prayers to you jennie-)
a little much with the "fills" and the "my's"
It could've been a little more descriptive..
also..broken up into 3 or 4 stanzas..
I think it may have had a softer flow..
(I don't usually critique..but you asked)
Happiness to you jennie-
M.O.H. |
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