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I fell on a mountain...
Contributed by
Anne-ish
on
Saturday, 9th July 2005 @ 01:23:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
abstract
|
I fell on a mountain
And the mountain just screamed
Then you shook me and said,
It was something you dreamed
I climbed down a bed
It flew out the door
So I ended up sleeping
On carpeted floor
The angels they sang
With ferocious ambition
Then he showed his teeth
And blew up my vision
I wandered in light
And swam past the sea
The birds tore my hair
All shouting with glee
My skin turned to dust
The wind was so black
It rained, like, forever
As I hung on a rack
The noise was too much
So I covered my nose
Then the animals gathered
To feed on my toes
The stream was too high
I ran into trees
They chased me around
And collected my knees
My throat lay suspended
The paper was ripping
The record they played
Was atrociously skipping
Now you know I'm not dreaming
You know I'm not high
I'm alert and quite healthy
So clear in the eye
It just flowed from my pen
The above tale explored
I guess that's what happens
When one's feeling bored.
Copyright ©
Anne-ish
... [
2005-07-09 13:23:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I fell on a mountain...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Janie on
Saturday, 9th July 2005 @ 02:27:17 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I really enjoyed this poem, I liked how smoothly it flowed and how pure and spur-of-the-moment it seemed. Great work! Please comment on my poem "You are EVERYTHING." |
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Re: I fell on a mountain...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Arden on
Saturday, 9th July 2005 @ 02:40:09 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Bravo!
Now this i enjoyed. LOVED your rhyme. it kinda read like the night before christmas.
i like how it starts out really interesting then it slowly starts to get darker. and the end was pricelss.
5/5
-Arden
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Re: I fell on a mountain...
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Saturday, 9th July 2005 @ 08:50:39 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Glad I stopped to read this. What a cool write. Loved the rhythm, and the flow. The title called to me, glad I listened. Look forward to reading more. Peace to you. Laura |
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