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Array ( [sid] => 100336 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => I CAN'T SIR [time] => 2005-07-06 16:13:20 [hometext] => Trying to do new things, experimenting I guess. Please tell me what you think. I think a vast collection of different poems makes a stronger poet. [bodytext] => I can’t be your rock sir
I know you don’t count
Rock has softened
And rolled away

I can’t be your strength sir
You ask in a subtle
The muscle is flat
It shrank away

I can’t be you white sir
Look with wide eyes
Grey shadows turn black
My light has dimmed

I can’t be clear water sir
Swim to me not
Murky liquid has pored in
Mud to thick to chew

I can’t be your warm sir
Fold your own arms
I can feel you chill
My cold has your name

I can’t be you high sir
Look up at my smile
Wondered how low
Eye to eye we are not

I can’t be your eyes sir
Watch you own hands
Blinded by love
Sees no way out

I can’t be your color sir
But lips hate me not
All shades and hues are dull
With no canvas of muse

I can’t be your life sir
For your nothing told me so
Dead words and actions
Buried your love alive

[comments] => 4 [counter] => 169 [topic] => 52 [informant] => boobiepeach [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 13 [ratings] => 3 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => goodbyepoetry )

I CAN'T SIR

Contributed by boobiepeach on Wednesday, 6th July 2005 @ 04:13:20 PM in AEST
Topic: goodbyepoetry

I can’t be your rock sir
I know you don’t count
Rock has softened
And rolled away

I can’t be your strength sir
You ask in a subtle
The muscle is flat
It shrank away

I can’t be you white sir
Look with wide eyes
Grey shadows turn black
My light has dimmed

I can’t be clear water sir
Swim to me not
Murky liquid has pored in
Mud to thick to chew

I can’t be your warm sir
Fold your own arms
I can feel you chill
My cold has your name

I can’t be you high sir
Look up at my smile
Wondered how low
Eye to eye we are not

I can’t be your eyes sir
Watch you own hands
Blinded by love
Sees no way out

I can’t be your color sir
But lips hate me not
All shades and hues are dull
With no canvas of muse

I can’t be your life sir
For your nothing told me so
Dead words and actions
Buried your love alive

Copyright © boobiepeach ... [ 2005-07-06 16:13:20]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: I CAN'T SIR (User Rating: 1 )
by ducki on Wednesday, 6th July 2005 @ 06:37:38 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Absolutly, wonderfully awesome. Brought tears to my eyes.

Re: I CAN'T SIR (User Rating: 1 )
by hauntedscorp on Wednesday, 6th July 2005 @ 10:22:11 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Nice concept Peach...I like this a lot. My only complaint, the grammar was a bit off in some spots...but a very enjoyable read nonetheless.
I really liked the third and last stanzas.

Scorp.

Re: I CAN'T SIR (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Thursday, 7th July 2005 @ 02:15:06 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

good writing indeed
varity is the spice of "Life"
I try to do the same mix it up
with all diff. sytles of poems

Re: I CAN'T SIR (User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on Friday, 8th July 2005 @ 10:27:13 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Very creative style, a bit difficult to read at first as I am unfamiliar with this type format....better the 2nd time through. It appears, to me, to address an overly dependent male in a relationship, just my take.

Bravo, for your willingness to experiment, peach

Well done

Will

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