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Sheer Watery Hues
Contributed by
essentially9
on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 08:10:18 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Sheer Watery Hues
Tears build translucent walls that will never fall,
Because they'll freeze until you believe
That fears cause me to crawl throughout it all,
Since I bleed to release what makes me weak.
You can't see through the sheer watery hues.
I don't even know if there's anything to show
Behind the clearly defined blues to you,
Or if there's more woe the deeper you go.
I don't want you to come near, because some
Of my fears would live with the love you give.
I only want to numb the pain to come
Or relive what I never did.
I only want know why you don't want me to cry
Another wall to hide what's inside,
Because I'm wise enough to rise
The walls to new heights to keep you outside.
Copyright ©
essentially9
... [
2005-07-04 20:10:18] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Sheer Watery Hues
(User Rating: 1 ) by ForeverAlone on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 08:21:12 PM AEST (User
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Awesome jen, i really like how you pulled off the longer lines..very good, but..tis normal..you can do it all Lil sis..lol..as always
~Clark |
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Re: Sheer Watery Hues
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 09:02:10 PM AEST (User
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Very good writing i agree with forever on this its hard to pull off long lines like that. But you did a great job at it. |
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Re: Sheer Watery Hues
(User Rating: 1 ) by hauntedscorp on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 09:03:17 PM AEST (User
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The first stanza stood out the most for me as far as written brilliance goes...and the last three lines as well were excellent! Overall, it was really good for creativity, flow, format and expression...The one thing that puzzled me a bit was the first line in the last stanza. A typo, or a missed word (?) Other than that, awesome as usual!!
Scorp. |
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Re: Sheer Watery Hues
(User Rating: 1 ) by MorningDove on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 10:04:35 PM AEST (User
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Awesome work. Sounds like a lonesome life.
Rita |
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Re: Sheer Watery Hues
(User Rating: 1 ) by DorianChambers on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 10:45:35 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This poem is fascinating, very soul searching
a quest for an answer lying deep within, once
again you manage to capture me with your
poetic prowess, lovely writting jen how ever
deep the abyss runs . . .
Ben
Ben
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Re: Sheer Watery Hues
(User Rating: 1 ) by wizard on
Monday, 4th July 2005 @ 11:28:13 PM AEST (User
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really an excellent poem...i love the message as much as the format and flow...great job.
wiz |
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Re: Sheer Watery Hues
(User Rating: 1 ) by Eternal_Dreamer on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 12:43:16 AM AEST (User
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The talented Jen does it again. An outstanding captivating piece of poetry written with sheer brillance. You go girl.
Hugs,
dreamer |
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Re: Sheer Watery Hues
(User Rating: 1 ) by emystar on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 12:54:18 AM AEST (User
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Great writing as always.
huggs, luv,
emy |
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Re: Sheer Watery Hues
(User Rating: 1 ) by venkat on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 01:37:09 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Brilliant write..packed with inexpressible
sad emotion yet with crystal clear expression
what an expert write!! :-) venkat
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Re: Sheer Watery Hues
(User Rating: 1 ) by KRzy_B on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 10:36:47 AM AEST (User
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Wow, i really enjoyed it, its so emotional |
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Re: Sheer Watery Hues
(User Rating: 1 ) by shelby on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 12:19:33 PM AEST (User
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I love the emotion you put itnot your writes so strong and powerful
Michelle |
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Re: Sheer Watery Hues
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 04:43:03 PM AEST (User
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Oh sure!! Raise the bar!!
Dang! You just keep getting better and better.
I love the idea of the wall made fom tears hiding your emotions..(tho I wonder indeed how well??!)
Keep em coming, Jenn!!! |
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Re: Sheer Watery Hues
(User Rating: 1 ) by Man_On_High on
Tuesday, 5th July 2005 @ 08:40:21 PM AEST (User
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your saddness is very bold and suggestive in this write..
the last stanza speaks of immortal sorrow..
and you always manifest it so well Jen..
great piece.
B |
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Re: Sheer Watery Hues
(User Rating: 1 ) by xXcrossedXx on
Saturday, 9th July 2005 @ 11:44:47 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is a very interesting and truthful piece. I can't say I have a favorite stanza because each one is either written more beautiful than the others or I completely agree/can relate to one, therefor this whole poem is my favorite. (that was confusing lol) basically you did a wonderful job again and you put a new view on tears, well done.
.amanda. |
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Re: Sheer Watery Hues
(User Rating: 1 ) by harlot20 on
Monday, 1st August 2005 @ 07:03:03 PM AEST (User
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protecting someone you love from yourself. intetresting. |
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