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Why
Contributed by tobore on Friday, July 30 2010 @ 00:13:43 AEST
Topic: Poems on Beauty
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wat yall think its my first poem
Why are some of the most beautiful women on this earth the most shallow….because behind the makeup they are as naked as a new born baby coming out of the womb ; I aint gonna make now promises but ill try and protect u like a caterpillar in its cocoon….and im not saying dat u should give me ur heart but can u give me a chance so I can at least have a part-Tobore
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Copyright © tobore ... [2010-07-30 00:13:43]
(Date/Time posted on site)
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| Poem Rating | Average Score: 2.5
Votes: 4
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Re: Why (User Rating: 1)
by navydocny on Friday, July 30 2010 @ 03:56:00 AEST
(User Info | Send a Message) | Good showing first time out..
My personal issue is the diction neuveux...(text-type)....I don't like that stuff...probably generational (I'm old)...
Personally as well, I'm a structure fantatic...
Probably why I prefer sonnets and haiku...but adding structure will flesh you expression out a little more vividly....
But hey, first time, and it's better than my first...
Take Care, and keep posting....
Steve
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