Your Poetry Dot Com - I'm America's worst Driver

Where I live, a bunch of idiots work at the DMV.
They proved that by giving a drivers license to me.
When I drive, I constantly drive in the wrong lane.
Some people call me stupid, others call me insane.
If you/'/re on the same road while I/'/m driving,
you won/'/t have much of a chance of surviving.
I/'/ve wrecked so many cars that my insurance company no longer pays.
If you ever see me driving in your neighborhood, you really should pray.
If you/'/re out walking while I/'/m driving, you sure will need to get out of my way.
Because if you don/'/t, your next of kin will be informed that you/'/ve passed away.
I drive extremely bad during the night and even worse in the rain.
When I die, my body will be donated to science but they won/'/t accept my brain.
When people see me coming, they lose bladder control and pee.
The gospel truth is that even drunk drivers drive better than me.

This poem is Copyright © randyjohnson