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Array ( [sid] => 9095 [catid] => 1 [aid] => Mick [title] => Symbiosis [time] => 2002-12-22 23:20:00 [hometext] => [bodytext] => I am a flower Mr. Bee
Do you not want my nectar?

We make the finest honey see
And I must fly this sector
You were a potted flower
And not from here I'd venture

You're right I come from very far
Its been quite an adventure

To take your nectar to my hive
Would be a risky venture
I dare not so contrive
To change the law of nature

I am a flower Mr. Bee
Why don't you taste my nectar?

I've heard that you can sweeten dew
And tasty is your juice
But I must sadly say adieu
I've vowed not to seduce

I am a bee Miss Flower
But I can't taste your nectar

We're symbiotic you and me
This soon you will discover
So buzz away now Mr. Bee
You can't resist the hour

[comments] => 9 [counter] => 282 [topic] => 31 [informant] => jaavys [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => StoryPoetry )

Symbiosis

Contributed by jaavys on Sunday, 22nd December 2002 @ 11:20:00 PM in AEST
Topic: StoryPoetry

I am a flower Mr. Bee
Do you not want my nectar?

We make the finest honey see
And I must fly this sector
You were a potted flower
And not from here I'd venture

You're right I come from very far
Its been quite an adventure

To take your nectar to my hive
Would be a risky venture
I dare not so contrive
To change the law of nature

I am a flower Mr. Bee
Why don't you taste my nectar?

I've heard that you can sweeten dew
And tasty is your juice
But I must sadly say adieu
I've vowed not to seduce

I am a bee Miss Flower
But I can't taste your nectar

We're symbiotic you and me
This soon you will discover
So buzz away now Mr. Bee
You can't resist the hour

Copyright © jaavys ... [ 2002-12-22 23:20:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Symbiosis (User Rating: 1 )
by LOWMAN613 on Monday, 23rd December 2002 @ 12:03:27 AM AEST
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This is really cute,much a surprise instead of the sad poems lately! Great one! Christina

Re: Symbiosis (User Rating: 1 )
by jaavys on Tuesday, 24th December 2002 @ 03:39:08 PM AEST
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Hola, thanks and MC to you and yours

Re: Symbiosis (User Rating: 1 )
by Jade on Friday, 3rd January 2003 @ 11:42:35 PM AEST
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This poem could be illustrated and turned into a children's story.

Re: Symbiosis (User Rating: 1 )
by Ilhar on Sunday, 5th January 2003 @ 01:25:26 PM AEST
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very interesting good write

Re: Symbiosis (User Rating: 1 )
by jaavys on Monday, 6th January 2003 @ 11:25:27 AM AEST
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thank you. you're right on the mark. Happy new Year!!1

Re: Symbiosis (User Rating: 1 )
by jaavys on Monday, 6th January 2003 @ 11:26:10 AM AEST
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thank you and happy new year!!!

Re: Symbiosis (User Rating: 1 )
by SmokinJoeEvil on Wednesday, 15th January 2003 @ 02:52:52 PM AEST
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The transition between the first-person narrative of the bee and flower is very choppy. Suddendly you were a bee, when moments ago you were a flower? I don't think so. And what is this about not being able to "resist the hour"? That was a very poor ending.

Re: Symbiosis (User Rating: 1 )
by jaavys on Thursday, 16th January 2003 @ 03:27:18 PM AEST
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This poem is up for an award, but anytime you are using more than one voice it gets tricky. I have another poem with three voices. Now, do you really think it is about bees and flowers.

Re: Symbiosis (User Rating: 1 )
by SmokinJoeEvil on Friday, 17th January 2003 @ 12:47:10 PM AEST
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If it is not about bees and flowers then it probably should not become an illustrated children's story.

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