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Array
(
[sid] => 90226
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => (Title Deleted)
[time] => 2005-04-07 11:49:44
[hometext] => .....
[bodytext] => I'm trying my best to release this stress but it keeps following me, I can't get it off my chest. I just want to cry don't ask me why, ready to leave here, and I don't mean leave to the sky. I'm mean leave my current situation, because it's giving me no support, no hope no nothing. I'm ready to move on with my life, ready to grab hold of something. Instead of grabbing air, because my mind tells me something there, but it's like nothings there, nobody even cares, nobody says "hi" anymore, it's just constant stares. I refuse to let them lower me down to the point where I can't get back up. I'mma use the energy that they feed me with all the ridicule that they feed me, in tears is how they leave me. I know I can't let it get to me because it's my family but it hurts yall. It hurts to know that your family don't even care if you fall. Won't lend a helping hand to help you stand but instead they stand over your head laughing at you err all this I can't withstand. I need to leave here and leave here now before I do something and I don't know how, or why or what I will do or what it may be. Lord I'm begging you please come help me. I can't stand to walk in the house where I live and get depressed and just start to cry and squeal. I'm trying to be strong, but I can't live like this to long, it's really now time for me to move on, so I can stop singing this sad and depressing song. I just need an escape for not just them, but for my own sake, I can't do it no longer, no longer can I act fake. This can't be life, this can't be love, this can't be how I'm suppose to live, I gotta rise above. I ain't suppose to sleep at night crying with my pillow soaked from tears that seem to fall like the rain, driving me insane, hard for me to maintain, tired of being the blame tired of all the pain. Can't barely see while I type so I don't know if the words I type are spelled wrong or right, just ready to leave, ready to escape, ready to vacate ready to move on to my fate. Nobody never know's how hard I have it they wouldn't even be able to grab it if it was handed to them in a brown paper bag, and instead of building me up, all they do is brag, "well I did this for you and I did that" why the ***** you keep telling me for did I ask you to do that? Did I ask you to go spend your money like I was your honey, did I tell you to go out a be a dummy? no I'm not making a joke, right now I ain't even trying to be funny. I just want my name to stay away from the mouth of those who try to down talk me, name stalk me, bring drama to my name because you can't handle that your a lame, so that I'm cool, and I'm not the same. Can't even sleep just wanna talk to my babys but I can't. I need her right now, but she's not here now, so I gotta have a cow, produce some milk and get over it, I'm 20 years old I shouldn't have to go through this *****, just wanna run away, can't wait until my final day, no more will I have to listen to what they gotta say, I can live my life my way. Whelp I'mma go and cry myself to sleep, hopefully in the morning, I won't be to weak. So I'll end this with a cry LORD HELP ME!!, get these people away from me.
[comments] => 3
[counter] => 148
[topic] => 6
[informant] => justpoetic
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 0
[ratings] => 0
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => AngryPoetry
)
(Title Deleted)
Contributed by
justpoetic
on
Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 11:49:44 AM in AEST
Topic:
AngryPoetry
|
I'm trying my best to release this stress but it keeps following me, I can't get it off my chest. I just want to cry don't ask me why, ready to leave here, and I don't mean leave to the sky. I'm mean leave my current situation, because it's giving me no support, no hope no nothing. I'm ready to move on with my life, ready to grab hold of something. Instead of grabbing air, because my mind tells me something there, but it's like nothings there, nobody even cares, nobody says "hi" anymore, it's just constant stares. I refuse to let them lower me down to the point where I can't get back up. I'mma use the energy that they feed me with all the ridicule that they feed me, in tears is how they leave me. I know I can't let it get to me because it's my family but it hurts yall. It hurts to know that your family don't even care if you fall. Won't lend a helping hand to help you stand but instead they stand over your head laughing at you err all this I can't withstand. I need to leave here and leave here now before I do something and I don't know how, or why or what I will do or what it may be. Lord I'm begging you please come help me. I can't stand to walk in the house where I live and get depressed and just start to cry and squeal. I'm trying to be strong, but I can't live like this to long, it's really now time for me to move on, so I can stop singing this sad and depressing song. I just need an escape for not just them, but for my own sake, I can't do it no longer, no longer can I act fake. This can't be life, this can't be love, this can't be how I'm suppose to live, I gotta rise above. I ain't suppose to sleep at night crying with my pillow soaked from tears that seem to fall like the rain, driving me insane, hard for me to maintain, tired of being the blame tired of all the pain. Can't barely see while I type so I don't know if the words I type are spelled wrong or right, just ready to leave, ready to escape, ready to vacate ready to move on to my fate. Nobody never know's how hard I have it they wouldn't even be able to grab it if it was handed to them in a brown paper bag, and instead of building me up, all they do is brag, "well I did this for you and I did that" why the ***** you keep telling me for did I ask you to do that? Did I ask you to go spend your money like I was your honey, did I tell you to go out a be a dummy? no I'm not making a joke, right now I ain't even trying to be funny. I just want my name to stay away from the mouth of those who try to down talk me, name stalk me, bring drama to my name because you can't handle that your a lame, so that I'm cool, and I'm not the same. Can't even sleep just wanna talk to my babys but I can't. I need her right now, but she's not here now, so I gotta have a cow, produce some milk and get over it, I'm 20 years old I shouldn't have to go through this *****, just wanna run away, can't wait until my final day, no more will I have to listen to what they gotta say, I can live my life my way. Whelp I'mma go and cry myself to sleep, hopefully in the morning, I won't be to weak. So I'll end this with a cry LORD HELP ME!!, get these people away from me.
Copyright ©
justpoetic
... [
2005-04-07 11:49:44]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: (Title Deleted)
(User Rating: 1 )
by blue_angel on
Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 11:59:21 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
wow, amazingly powerful and greatly filled with emotion. i feel the exact same way as you. i wish i could just find a way out...
just dont give up...
luv n hugs,
jennie* |
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Re: (Title Deleted)
(User Rating: 1 )
by lilschizoboy07 on
Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 12:08:11 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I'm lovin this rap, but I'm worried because ti reminds me of me. Remember there's always someone that loves you. Wierdly, they're often in the one place you haven't looked yet. |
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Re: (Title Deleted)
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Thursday, 7th April 2005 @ 02:35:15 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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very power charged I relate to much of this. Anything to do with family is hard I know. Lief in general makes us scratch out heads at times. DOnt feel your alone because your not and those lacking in our life are replaced by others along the way at times when you dont even realise it. Making a change is good but running away wont solve the problems for those ghosts will follow you whereever you go. YOu have alot of strength go with that you will get what you want out of life
Michelle |
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