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Array
(
[sid] => 89039
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Lit up in the stars
[time] => 2005-03-28 09:41:24
[hometext] => I'm not sure about the ending, so help with that may be appreciated. (Thankyou to Nazzy for his help)
[bodytext] => You laced the stars together,
Then called them all by name,
Setting your own constellations,
So the sky would always be the same,
And you could look out from your window,
Gaze up at the sparkling stars,
To find some inspiration,
From all your lit up memoirs.
The moon would guide your writing,
While you wrote out from the sky,
Of things you never speak of,
Though you really know not why,
For lit up there above you,
Underneath the silent clouds,
Your heart is written secretly,
Hidden beneath it's shroud.
So if anyone were to look up at night,
And see the stars all shine,
It would be possible to see the words,
Hidden behind the stars design.
But no one ever notices,
Any of the well written lines,
Joined in finest calligraphy,
Across the dark night sky.
(Where the stars keep your secrets at night)
[comments] => 15
[counter] => 253
[topic] => 71
[informant] => lostinmyself
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 42
[ratings] => 9
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => secrets
)
Lit up in the stars
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 09:41:24 AM in AEST
Topic:
secrets
|
You laced the stars together,
Then called them all by name,
Setting your own constellations,
So the sky would always be the same,
And you could look out from your window,
Gaze up at the sparkling stars,
To find some inspiration,
From all your lit up memoirs.
The moon would guide your writing,
While you wrote out from the sky,
Of things you never speak of,
Though you really know not why,
For lit up there above you,
Underneath the silent clouds,
Your heart is written secretly,
Hidden beneath it's shroud.
So if anyone were to look up at night,
And see the stars all shine,
It would be possible to see the words,
Hidden behind the stars design.
But no one ever notices,
Any of the well written lines,
Joined in finest calligraphy,
Across the dark night sky.
(Where the stars keep your secrets at night)
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2005-03-28 09:41:24]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Lit up in the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by bernard on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 09:51:06 AM AEST
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| Yes the Heavems hold many secrets that we are now slowly beginning to understand. Great Poem 5/5 from bernard. |
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Re: Lit up in the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 10:55:59 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| nicely done |
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Re: Lit up in the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 11:09:54 AM AEST
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I have an affinity for constellations, telescopes, night ponderings and of course stars.
I must say this is gorgeous and so graceful and elegant I want to grab it up and keep it.
Kie |
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Re: Lit up in the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 12:40:25 PM AEST
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Phil ...? this is Phabulous ... ( sorry I couldn't help myself )
You know I liked this one ... It was my pleasure to assist ... though my assistance was meager. You did wonderful with this.
Nazzy ~ |
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Re: Lit up in the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vampirequeen on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 01:26:17 PM AEST
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|
wow philly this is awsome .
I was always amaze with the stars and what the secret holds.anyways great write. |
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Re: Lit up in the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 01:42:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Coming on the heels of our discussion today.......... this is very nearly, quite possible, geez, just ---- too much... in a superbly wonderful way.
I haven't words enough, Philly. I truly, truly don't. I think, probably, you can imagine just how powerful the blow was when this knocked me over. And hon, as per everything (everything!) that I said this morning and heard you say in reply... I must emphatically argue that some DO notice. They are (perhaps, rightly so - so that we might appreciate them more) few and far between... but yes, some do, some can, some will.
And, I am so damn happy that I got 'my possibility' back (and everything that comes with it)... because I can say honestly that I truly love this and I can say that without an ounce of doubt. (*wink*)
Wishing I had thought of this... but loving, entirely, that you did,
~Snemmy~
(lol! there now... you've got a ramble too *smirk*)
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Re: Lit up in the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 03:05:48 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Phily girl this was just nothing more than amzing, you write with so much passion and gusto that you overwhelm me when i read you're work.
Nicely writen Phil, you've done a brilliant job and i couldnt be more happier reading this peice.
Hugs,
Jane |
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Re: Lit up in the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 06:38:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
This is enchanting, endearing, heartwrenching and mystifying all at once, dear Philomena.
I'm entranced.
I must remember to read this one over and over some odd days when I need to.
Lots of love and peace,
Chelsea |
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Re: Lit up in the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by DorianChambers on
Monday, 28th March 2005 @ 10:53:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
This is beautiful phill what a picture u paint
i truly enjoyed reading this magnificent in
every scence of the word . . .
Dorian Chambers |
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Re: Lit up in the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 29th March 2005 @ 02:38:11 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Yes, I must say this is taking a clever idea and fitting it to words just right.
You did an awsome job with this one!!
I will say tho that I agree with the comment that some people DO notice!!! |
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Re: Lit up in the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 5th April 2005 @ 12:34:21 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
“You laced the stars together,”
-Explicit imagery…
Overwhelming, really!
“Then called them all by name,
Setting your own constellations,
So the sky would always be the same,
And you could look out from your window,
Gaze up at the sparkling stars,
To find some inspiration,
From all your lit up memoirs.”
-You have personalised the intangible, as well as personifying and delivering life to recollections, themselves!
"The moon would guide your writing,
While you wrote out from the sky,”
-Effective use of figurative, particularly metaphor expression.
I am in awe of your iridescent wording!
It is most visually physical!
Underneath the silent clouds,
Your heart is written secretly,
Hidden beneath its shroud.
-Symbolical to say the least…
Breath-taking to say the most!
“The words,
Hidden behind the stars design.
…Joined in finest calligraphy,
Across the dark night sky.”
-Copious amounts of subjective integration, arranged with abundant imagery as well as deep significance.
Although sad, that “no one ever notices”.
I’m glad that I have had the privilege to have viewed this spectacular opus.
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Re: Lit up in the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Tuesday, 5th April 2005 @ 06:53:03 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Beautiful work. As to the ending... if you come up with any more, anything else that wants to be said to finish up, by all means add it, but if not, it is still magnificent. Good luck.
Andrew
(liking this) |
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Re: Lit up in the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Saturday, 23rd April 2005 @ 08:53:35 PM AEST
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a Message)
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WOW!! What great imagery here! I loved this very much...
Jenni |
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Re: Lit up in the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by guiltycircles on
Saturday, 6th August 2005 @ 11:10:27 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| the words are beautifully used to create exquisite imagery of a hidden truth...this is amazing and its calm acceptance of isolation really reaches out to the reader... awesome |
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Re: Lit up in the stars
(User Rating: 1 )
by WAE on
Saturday, 20th August 2005 @ 05:32:30 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Nicely written. Romanticn and enigmatic... |
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