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Array
(
[sid] => 82141
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => It's been over a year, mom
[time] => 2005-01-30 12:49:08
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => I'm debating on whether to acknowledge your existance, Or to eliminate you from my troubled mind. I'm wondering briefly if I'd be happier with you, But those thoughts seem like those of suicide. I'm attempting to ascertain whether you're a friend or an enemy, But you change so abruptly that I suppose I'll never know. I'm deciding what about my life I should share with you, But perhaps it's better to take things slow... Again I'm trying to forget what it felt like for me, To have my neck wrapped within your tight grasp. I'm attempting to eliminate the memory of your expression, Contorted with rage and so unfamiliar of a mask. I'm learning to over-look those words you screamed at me, I know that none of them were true. I'm wanting to remember everything now, So that I have a reason not to see you... I'm scared I'm wishing you'd stop drinking and denying you do, Stop calling at two in the morning. I'm hoping you'll cease to depend on your looks, It's called prostitution; heed my warning. I'm sick of listening to your endless lies, It's pathological and I'm sure anyone would agree. I'm praying you'll fix things right now with yourself, Before you try too hard to fix things with me... Get a life I'm finding it hard not to think of those times, That you hurt me with not only your spiteful tongue. I'm crying while thinking of all those short visits, That you tried so hard to make fun. I'm seeing your anger at so many levels, While I put up with years of your madness. I'm trying to wipe away the tears we have shed, We have both suffered so much sadness... Are you listening, mom? [comments] => 3 [counter] => 164 [topic] => 48 [informant] => Jane_Doe [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )
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