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Array ( [sid] => 8035 [catid] => 1 [aid] => Mick [title] => my addiction [time] => 2002-12-06 01:40:00 [hometext] => it explains itself [bodytext] => a terrible thing,
or so it may seem,
but why is it so bad?
it offers relief,
to many in need,
it extends a comforting hand.
to become attached to it,
is such an easy task.
to begin to love the ritual,
to long to show your pain,
to show the world,
deep inside,
to your twisted brain.
for me this is no longer,
a thing used as a last resort,
its more to me now,
i dont understand it,
but now im becoming addicted.
addicted to the chilled blade,
addicted to its sharp bite,
addicted to the red flow,
addicted to the relief in sight.

"why?" you ask,
"why?!?" i laugh,
do you really expect a reason,
a reason for my life?
i wish i had one,
i really do,
maybe its this...
to be able to be powerful,
to rule over my hurt,
or to be able to feel,
on my skin,
the ripping pain from inside.
so, are these the reasons why?
the reasons why,
i can cut myself,
over and over again,
and never once cry?
do these answers satisfy you?
do you now understand my life?
no, i doubt you can,
no one ever will,
no one understands me,
no one seems to care,
so ill just walk alone,
down lifes path,
just me and my addiction,
till the very end. [comments] => 6 [counter] => 311 [topic] => 36 [informant] => nightrider [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )

my addiction

Contributed by nightrider on Friday, 6th December 2002 @ 01:40:00 AM in AEST
Topic: Suicide

a terrible thing,
or so it may seem,
but why is it so bad?
it offers relief,
to many in need,
it extends a comforting hand.
to become attached to it,
is such an easy task.
to begin to love the ritual,
to long to show your pain,
to show the world,
deep inside,
to your twisted brain.
for me this is no longer,
a thing used as a last resort,
its more to me now,
i dont understand it,
but now im becoming addicted.
addicted to the chilled blade,
addicted to its sharp bite,
addicted to the red flow,
addicted to the relief in sight.

"why?" you ask,
"why?!?" i laugh,
do you really expect a reason,
a reason for my life?
i wish i had one,
i really do,
maybe its this...
to be able to be powerful,
to rule over my hurt,
or to be able to feel,
on my skin,
the ripping pain from inside.
so, are these the reasons why?
the reasons why,
i can cut myself,
over and over again,
and never once cry?
do these answers satisfy you?
do you now understand my life?
no, i doubt you can,
no one ever will,
no one understands me,
no one seems to care,
so ill just walk alone,
down lifes path,
just me and my addiction,
till the very end.

Copyright © nightrider ... [ 2002-12-06 01:40:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: my addiction (User Rating: 1 )
by ibamy on Friday, 6th December 2002 @ 02:19:22 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i understand when i cut i close me eyes face to the sky the pain slowly drains from my torn vein to puddle at my feet down the drain no more pain

Re: my addiction (User Rating: 1 )
by Delusions on Friday, 6th December 2002 @ 04:01:12 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This is a great write... and i definately know where your coming from with this one... i often get annoyed when people ask why i cut... because im left with no answer and with yet another person who thinks im "sum freak" Oh well... good luck i hope things get better for you... ~Delusions~

Re: my addiction (User Rating: 1 )
by Elisabeth on Friday, 6th December 2002 @ 04:05:57 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

I can't say that I've ever cut myself, but I know I've wanted to. This is an excellent description of pain needing to manifest itself when it is not readily evident.

Re: my addiction (User Rating: 1 )
by bopeep on Saturday, 7th December 2002 @ 12:25:56 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

great write. addictions blow ass. not just saying about the whole heroin deal and all, but i mean all sorts. the addiction of constantly inflicting pain upon yourself without reason...or when ya forget what that reason even is...its all bad. just too bad nothing can really help it. love the poem... i so understand where ya coming from on this, peace out.

Re: my addiction (User Rating: 1 )
by frozensuicide on Saturday, 7th December 2002 @ 02:15:06 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

heeeeeeey this sounds a whole lot like meeee! i like it! good job ol' chap! tally ho!

hug a moose!

Re: my addiction (User Rating: 1 )
by afraid_of_fear on Sunday, 11th May 2003 @ 04:16:31 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

i love this, its so.. so sharp. ironically. know where ur coming from.
take care,
x_x_x

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