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Array ( [sid] => 75718 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => today [time] => 2004-12-14 10:11:38 [hometext] => Today im sad... [bodytext] => Someone smiled at me today
the sun shining on their face as they did
but the rain poured today
and my left over feelings felt numb
my umbrella broke today
and it let the rain in
the clear drips dwelled with my salt tears
and my silent tears were left unnoticed
and untouched
when you laughed today
i ached with envy
and longed for your light hearted laughter
to touch me too
nothing is what i say
nothing is what i feel
and nothing is what you notice

i faded today
i faded
as you wiped me away
[comments] => 3 [counter] => 161 [topic] => 32 [informant] => loopylou [notes] => (Edited for spelling by Mod_11 as requested) [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => SadPoetry )

today

Contributed by loopylou on Tuesday, 14th December 2004 @ 10:11:38 AM in AEST
Topic: SadPoetry

Someone smiled at me today
the sun shining on their face as they did
but the rain poured today
and my left over feelings felt numb
my umbrella broke today
and it let the rain in
the clear drips dwelled with my salt tears
and my silent tears were left unnoticed
and untouched
when you laughed today
i ached with envy
and longed for your light hearted laughter
to touch me too
nothing is what i say
nothing is what i feel
and nothing is what you notice

i faded today
i faded
as you wiped me away

Copyright © loopylou ... [ 2004-12-14 10:11:38]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: today (User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on Tuesday, 14th December 2004 @ 10:19:09 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

*hugs* I;m sad today too. a very deep and emotional write, hope your tomorrow is brighter

pixie xx

Re: today (User Rating: 1 )
by Necromant on Tuesday, 14th December 2004 @ 11:50:02 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

That's so sad. Hope your sorrow won't last. Keep writing :)

Re: today (User Rating: 1 )
by Laurielaurie on Sunday, 6th March 2005 @ 02:53:03 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

Didn't like the line about the clear drips dwelling with tears. 'Mingled' or 'merged' would be more appropriate. Saying 'tears' twice in two lines has a bad effect on the rhythym. Love the rest though.

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