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Array
(
[sid] => 7220
[catid] => 1
[aid] => Mick
[title] => Looking in this Direction
[time] => 2002-11-22 03:00:00
[hometext] => when i get angry at myself i throw up... alot.. so this is a point when i stop trying and start being.
[bodytext] => picked myself up off the floor. Felt the inside of my stomach and tried not to think about it anymore.
Isnt reality harsh? but what are you going to do about it. Im not going to sit here and whine anymore. Im tired of listening and not thinking. Rubbed my face and looked around. Tried to see things diffrently. ended up turning upside down. Where did I go? I guess not as far as I thought. Ended up in the bathroom again, feeling the inside of my stomach come out. Decided to drop my thoughts. I want to stop analyzing, and start living. Cried one last time and let everything go. I layed down on the bathmat. Yellow and soft, it made me warm. Forgot the past. Didnt feel so old anymore, didnt feel the weight on my sholders. so i finally looked out the window i was so afraid of before. Found out it was beautiful. Stepped outside of reality, and once again found me. I could look in this direction forever. Felt so content with myself. So in love with the world I saw myself in every tree, branch, and leaf. Couldnt belive I use to blind myself with my regression to ignorange. Picked myself up off the ground and saw things more clear. [comments] => 1 [counter] => 173 [topic] => 21 [informant] => herecomesthesun [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Lifepoems )
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