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Welcome ! | Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link | 03-June 08:30:28 AEST | ||
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Array
(
[sid] => 70771
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Just let me remind my-self...
[time] => 2004-11-09 11:23:06
[hometext] => I guess,this, is GOODBYE! ... I thought I wouldn't do it, the Richard started again... AND I CAN'T DO THIS AY MORE!
[bodytext] => They all care and it frickin hurts! They’ve touched me and I feel like dirt! I said, I’ll stay, for those that care. Despite feeling worthless and them not always here. Despite them not seeing, I’ve hit my head. Despite pointless thinking, and wishing to be dead. Well try being near some one that makes your life hell. It changes your views and makes you swell. I’m scared to be here, when he talks to me. I get screaming fears when here’s around Dorothy. He talks all calmly, like nothing is wrong. He makes me feel pointless, and steels my will to carry on. I hate him for what he did to me! And now I hate him that much more. He’s poisoned my dad’s brain, so my dad won’t love me any more! I feel so unwanted, despite people caring for me. My world's been blunted, I feel like pushing every one away! I’ll cover my emotion, and blow and get in sh**. And then I’ll be in trouble, today’s a simple example of it! But I don’t care any longer! I just want to go! I can’t become any stronger, I feel pathetic and cold. He’s placing depression inside me, And through the cracks it’s seeping through. Then it takes nothing, … And abuse I tend to throw. I feel like nothing inside, I’m full of filth, dieing and slime. My walls are crimson, and scard from the cuts of my life. I’m rotting inside slowly, and I can’t block it away, I can’t make things any better, there’s too many permanent stains! … And this is the reminder to my-self! Asking why I’m still trying to continue, strong. When I feel so dropped on a dusted shelf. And I’m scared to carry on…! [comments] => 1 [counter] => 206 [topic] => 36 [informant] => deathdrop [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => Suicide )
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