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Array
(
[sid] => 69107
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => I can only do so much
[time] => 2004-10-27 18:00:09
[hometext] =>
[bodytext] => How age has ravished me... How old? 18 Yet feel so much older. Wearing me down and breaking me. Each day and I fight it, And each day I lie to myself. Say it's not there. Smile for the camera's. Don't let my friends see I'm suffering. I don't sleep much anymore. Only enough to dream these awful things. Then the rest of the night is mine alone... "Mine alone" ... always alone. Forever ever alone. In a crowded room alone. In a busy street alone. I'm the only one who knows. Am I so selfish to think I'm the only one? Of course I'm not, you've all been there. To hell and back, Cept for this is a hell on earth... A hell within our own minds. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a constant feeling. I know what happiness and love can be. Hell... I even smile and laugh sometimes. But I let people in, into my heart. I let them wear me down. I let them do it because I love them. I’m dependant on them. Dependant on the love from them. I rely on it to make me feel better about myself. So all there is to really say about this is, I am normal, I go up and I got down... And I’ll do so until I die. I’m only writing about the downside because, I feel it’s the only way I can tell you about it. [comments] => 3 [counter] => 162 [topic] => 13 [informant] => surge_joebot [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => DarkPoetry )
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