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Array ( [sid] => 67831 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => Lost In The Dark [time] => 2004-10-17 19:21:02 [hometext] => I wrote this in the car...felt like writing something and this is what came of it. Whatda ya think? [bodytext] => She looked around.
Wondering,
Where she was.
The sky was bleak.
The road buried in shadows.
Trees glared at her.
Light shuned her.
She wandered down the path.
Stumbling,
Trippping,
Darkness prevailing,
Wrapping around her,
Until,
She,
Was,
No more. [comments] => 4 [counter] => 164 [topic] => 43 [informant] => Live2Die [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 7 [ratings] => 2 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => oops )

Lost In The Dark

Contributed by Live2Die on Sunday, 17th October 2004 @ 07:21:02 PM in AEST
Topic: oops

She looked around.
Wondering,
Where she was.
The sky was bleak.
The road buried in shadows.
Trees glared at her.
Light shuned her.
She wandered down the path.
Stumbling,
Trippping,
Darkness prevailing,
Wrapping around her,
Until,
She,
Was,
No more.

Copyright © Live2Die ... [ 2004-10-17 19:21:02]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Lost In The Dark (User Rating: 1 )
by xemptydecemberx on Sunday, 17th October 2004 @ 07:23:35 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

*thumbs up* good.

Re: Lost In The Dark (User Rating: 1 )
by cuddlytiger17 on Sunday, 17th October 2004 @ 08:25:12 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

it started out good, i don't like the ending though.

Re: Lost In The Dark (User Rating: 1 )
by blowfish_jane on Monday, 18th October 2004 @ 07:10:09 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

cute poem

Re: Lost In The Dark (User Rating: 1 )
by theMoth on Monday, 25th October 2004 @ 06:19:05 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

It's a good poem,
but you should get rid of the
commas in the last few lines.
The line breaks should serve
the purpose of emaphasizing
each word.

--Mothy

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