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(
[sid] => 56907
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
[time] => 2004-07-20 12:45:58
[hometext] => The second installment in the story of Tiras and his sons. By the greed of one man, a nation already worn from war was torn by rebellion.
[bodytext] => Blood-soaked was Tiras brought back
In a bed laid in Valamaur
For life was yet lingering in him
Though his wounds were dire.
Skillful physicians strove to heal him
His people made prayers for him
His sons stayed nigh him
But on the third day he died.
Deol his son was beside him
When he drew his dying breath
And he wept for the great man’s passing
Dear to him as father and lord.
But then came Valad his twin
A valiant man ever, but haughty
His heart did not grieve with the others
But sought after sovereignty.
The lordship had passed to Deol
In him was his father’s choice
For he was true of heart and humble
But his brother hated him.
Valad sought Deol’s birthright
But he surrendered it not
For Valad was unsuited to rule
Bitter words were spoken then.
A bier was now made ready
For the fallen one to be borne
From the bed of his death to his bygone hall
There to be readied for burial.
To the street Tiras was taken
With Deol walking beside him
And Ardael touching the harp-strings
Lamenting the mighty one’s fall.
Behind them were many who mourned
They followed the bier in silence
Until they came to the hill-road’s foot
And there they respectful remained.
Up the winding way went the bearers
As the westering sun bent its reddened ray
Upon the tow’ring windswept hall
Lighting the thatch like burnished copper.
Through the dark-shadowed doorway they entered
And lay the body on a table of stone
But the silence of that shadowy room
Was shaken by a sudden din outside.
A group of men, gathered by Valad
Bearing blades and guttering torches
Stood at the gated archway of stone
And Valad called out to his brother.
“As free gift thou wouldst not give
The inheritance that I desire
Now in this place shalt thou die
An thou dost not swiftly grant it”.
But Deol did not yield to him
And Ardael his brother beside him sprang
Denouncing Valad for this dishonorable deed
But the rebel heeded him not.
“so death is thy choice” he cried
And threw his torch at the hall’s roof
But by the force of the cast the flame was quenched
And struck the thatch giving no scathe.
Then Valad cried out in fury
And drawing his sword bade the attack
A hundred firebrands flew at the hall
And springing flames flared in the darkness.
At the doorway Deol made his stand
As his followers found weapons in the house
Then flung themselves into fierce fighting
In a courtyard lit by red flames.
At the hill’s foot were they who had followed
When the body of Tiras was borne thither
They saw the flame and heard the din
And hastened up the slope.
They saw the desecration of Valad’s lust
And in fury they flung themselves
Upon the last of the rebel’s followers
Tarrying not that they had few weapons.
Thus Valad perceived in the wrack
That his force was assailed from behind
At his shout they fled into the night
Vanishing among the darkened hills.
Behind them the hall burned brightly
As the roof collapsed into the fire
Within the body of Tiras was consumed
In the woeful ruin of his house.
Evil was that night in the city of Tiras
As swift rumor sped through the streets
And sides were fearfully chosen
As the brotherhood of the city was rent.
Several were they who followed Valad
For his influence was very great
Many were they who fled in the night
Families hurriedly forsaking their homes.
The dawn came to a woeful day
As Valad arrayed his men outside the city
And the soldiers of the king marched to oppose them
With Deol silent at their head.
Swords and helms flashed in the midst
Of the hosts drawn up for battle
Bright sunlight shone on the green plain
As Valad’s horn hailed the attack.
A long and arduous fight lasted
Until the light began to fail
Deol’s warriors proved victorious
Valad’s following withdrew into the wilderness.
So did Deol win his kingship
Divided by Valad’s evil devices
As the rebels vied in desolate wildlands
And Valad built his plans anew.
[comments] => 12
[counter] => 290
[topic] => 42
[informant] => fionndruinne
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 70
[ratings] => 14
[editpoem] => 1
[associated] =>
[topicname] => mythology
)
Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
Contributed by
fionndruinne
on
Tuesday, 20th July 2004 @ 12:45:58 PM in AEST
Topic:
mythology
|
Blood-soaked was Tiras brought back
In a bed laid in Valamaur
For life was yet lingering in him
Though his wounds were dire.
Skillful physicians strove to heal him
His people made prayers for him
His sons stayed nigh him
But on the third day he died.
Deol his son was beside him
When he drew his dying breath
And he wept for the great man’s passing
Dear to him as father and lord.
But then came Valad his twin
A valiant man ever, but haughty
His heart did not grieve with the others
But sought after sovereignty.
The lordship had passed to Deol
In him was his father’s choice
For he was true of heart and humble
But his brother hated him.
Valad sought Deol’s birthright
But he surrendered it not
For Valad was unsuited to rule
Bitter words were spoken then.
A bier was now made ready
For the fallen one to be borne
From the bed of his death to his bygone hall
There to be readied for burial.
To the street Tiras was taken
With Deol walking beside him
And Ardael touching the harp-strings
Lamenting the mighty one’s fall.
Behind them were many who mourned
They followed the bier in silence
Until they came to the hill-road’s foot
And there they respectful remained.
Up the winding way went the bearers
As the westering sun bent its reddened ray
Upon the tow’ring windswept hall
Lighting the thatch like burnished copper.
Through the dark-shadowed doorway they entered
And lay the body on a table of stone
But the silence of that shadowy room
Was shaken by a sudden din outside.
A group of men, gathered by Valad
Bearing blades and guttering torches
Stood at the gated archway of stone
And Valad called out to his brother.
“As free gift thou wouldst not give
The inheritance that I desire
Now in this place shalt thou die
An thou dost not swiftly grant it”.
But Deol did not yield to him
And Ardael his brother beside him sprang
Denouncing Valad for this dishonorable deed
But the rebel heeded him not.
“so death is thy choice” he cried
And threw his torch at the hall’s roof
But by the force of the cast the flame was quenched
And struck the thatch giving no scathe.
Then Valad cried out in fury
And drawing his sword bade the attack
A hundred firebrands flew at the hall
And springing flames flared in the darkness.
At the doorway Deol made his stand
As his followers found weapons in the house
Then flung themselves into fierce fighting
In a courtyard lit by red flames.
At the hill’s foot were they who had followed
When the body of Tiras was borne thither
They saw the flame and heard the din
And hastened up the slope.
They saw the desecration of Valad’s lust
And in fury they flung themselves
Upon the last of the rebel’s followers
Tarrying not that they had few weapons.
Thus Valad perceived in the wrack
That his force was assailed from behind
At his shout they fled into the night
Vanishing among the darkened hills.
Behind them the hall burned brightly
As the roof collapsed into the fire
Within the body of Tiras was consumed
In the woeful ruin of his house.
Evil was that night in the city of Tiras
As swift rumor sped through the streets
And sides were fearfully chosen
As the brotherhood of the city was rent.
Several were they who followed Valad
For his influence was very great
Many were they who fled in the night
Families hurriedly forsaking their homes.
The dawn came to a woeful day
As Valad arrayed his men outside the city
And the soldiers of the king marched to oppose them
With Deol silent at their head.
Swords and helms flashed in the midst
Of the hosts drawn up for battle
Bright sunlight shone on the green plain
As Valad’s horn hailed the attack.
A long and arduous fight lasted
Until the light began to fail
Deol’s warriors proved victorious
Valad’s following withdrew into the wilderness.
So did Deol win his kingship
Divided by Valad’s evil devices
As the rebels vied in desolate wildlands
And Valad built his plans anew.
Copyright ©
fionndruinne
... [
2004-07-20 12:45:58]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Tuesday, 20th July 2004 @ 02:29:28 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| You told a masterful story. |
|
|
Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 )
by yellow_sundragon on
Tuesday, 20th July 2004 @ 05:09:05 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Very good Andrew, and a masterful story... I hope that there is a part 3
Jaime |
|
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Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 12:34:04 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
A great tale, i love the way this is written almost like a historical fact.. Just think in a thousand years from now when people read your work they wont be able to distinguish fact from fiction thus history will have have suitably been corrupted! nice one.
wildejohnny.
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Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 04:02:31 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
brilliant! anyone who has not read part one i hope they do; this is so enchantingly written, i am softly taken and drawn into that land far and away, always wanting to read on, another masterpiece here andrew!! hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 07:48:57 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Oh My I was sitting on the edge of my computer chair...reminded me of two stories in the Bible. One was Esau and Jacob, and Esau sold his birth right for some red meat. The other was the fascinating story of Davd's son Absolm who tried to over throw his own Father's throne....ended up in a tree after being hung by his own long hair!!!
This was very exciting Andrew....you really drew me in....I enjoyed it from beginning to end!
Fantastic Story teller you prove to be!
Poetic hugs
consue |
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|
Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 09:47:49 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
You are a master story teller. Yes, like lovingcritters said it did remind me of Bible tales.
You kept my attention throughout the whole piece.
Very nice. |
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Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Saturday, 24th July 2004 @ 11:33:23 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Amazing!
A brilliant piece, and a stunning story
(i apologise for not commenting previously ;) )
Shame on me. lol
I was missing out.
I couldnt keep my eyes off this, I just had to keep reading.
Great write my friend,
Phil xxx |
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Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Wednesday, 28th July 2004 @ 06:55:29 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Suitably corrupted... ? Sure! Why not? Works for me...
Another masterpiece.
Take care,
David |
|
|
Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 )
by arden on
Thursday, 29th July 2004 @ 02:22:16 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
*blinks*
wow farm boy, this was amazing.
it read so well and was just wow lol
im very impressed with this.
well done.
5 stars
Arden |
|
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Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Monday, 9th August 2004 @ 05:59:17 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Fascinating, but I suspect this is only the outline...the bare bones upon which you will yet hang many threads. A variety of colors I feel are yet to come---everything from jeweltones to gray armor and golden crowns. The picture has been drawn, but it is not yet complete.
Stitch |
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Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 )
by liquidsunshine on
Tuesday, 31st August 2004 @ 08:10:39 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
You brought me right into the tale. What imagery! The language just rolls off the tongue. I could listen to this kind of poetry for hours.
Nicely done.
Lots of love and peace be with you,
Chelsea |
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Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 3rd May 2006 @ 08:45:49 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
win win lost.. everyone trying to get to the top, others take over.. what is tops... shaking my head, nice try all ... win win win.. lost here.. another deep breath for a nice write.. moves me to say... rebel on earth ... from father to son to son to son.,.,. daughters in there somewhere.. fion... greed... this poem has got to educate fools.. I tell ya.. who is on first... will people please get in control.. and stop this sillyness.... your write shows just that.. and I say.. another masterpiece .... your poem is a win win..... in that it tells just how foolish man can be.... trying to get up ahead.. someone else takes the top.. steps down, up, down, up down.... lots of pushups going on....
RaquelLeah |
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