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Array
(
[sid] => 53930
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => i want you.
[time] => 2004-06-27 20:07:39
[hometext] => i cant get enought of him.
[bodytext] => hollow empty dead but im tied to the world with my tears and my blood and these chains bolted to my brain just make me go insane i just cant get out and my feelings are on repeat and your voice is on repeat and i know im going crazy when i do the same thing and expect it to be different when really nothings going to change and when i always hold myself to blame and i call myself ashamed as i watch my tears mix with my blood when all i think about is your voice telling me you love me and then telling me you hate me and i want to scream because all i want is you i want to hold you i want to protect you i want you to want me but i cant becuase i hurt you and you're never going to trust me and you're never going to love me and i never want us to end i want you forever but im never going to have you because no one will ever have me because there's nothing to have i lost myself at the age of ten and i knew i would never have myself again i am not a body or a soul or a mind i am a pen and a piece of paper that you read and maybe just maybe you'd understand that these words are my words but if you dont or ever will - thats ok cuz im not really here im just what you read im just what you feel like when you bleed im your scream and im all your pain and im everything you hate but everything you need. [comments] => 3 [counter] => 178 [topic] => 60 [informant] => i_have_no_name [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 4 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => insomniac )
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