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(
[sid] => 51387
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => the ghost in the mirror
[time] => 2004-06-10 22:21:16
[hometext] => i cant edit this and i refuse to cry...
[bodytext] => My words have never come out right
always falling over themselves.
And what I really meant to say
was that I'm sorry for the way I am.
Left myself so cold and alone.
My ashen soul has only ever known
how to hate and be in pain.
And it's funny to think I'm alive.
No one has ever listened to my pain
as it gripped me deep inside, breaking me.
No one was ever there when I was scared.
Left to shiver with this frozen heart.
Never could bear this pain deep inside.
Couldn't stand to meet my own eyes
when I looked into the mirror.
With all the pain and sorrow there.
I see it in your eyes too...
You know what lurks inside the other.
And the way it echoes back to us
when it's flooding off of another.
I have never blamed you for leaving.
And it was hard to look into your eyes.
Understanding never seemed to heal.
Though I miss you we both know better.
Even though I'm left alone again
hearing my soul scream so loud
that a knife can't cut the pain away.
Nothing ever could have saved me.
Though I wanted you to hold me close
I knew you would have to leave someday.
And my defenses cracked and fell
as you shouted out your hate for me.
My soul cried out in agony when you walked away.
Knowing that you would never come back again.
All I can do is wish that you will be ok someday.
Ironic when I can't even muster hope for myself.
I still feel your tears and hear your sobs.
Never could seem to wipe them clean.
Because all I do is fail those around me.
It always leaves me feeling so empty.
I still gaze up at the stars at night
and it reminds me how you are gone.
It reminds me how I have failed you.
It reminds me how I will fail again.
Wanted nothing more than to love you back,
but I couldn't force myself to feel that way.
All I've ever done is hurt everyone
and I hate myself for never doing anything right.
And though it hurts to just let you go.
I know it's what is best for you.
Learned to turn my back so well.
But all it does is make me colder....
[comments] => 20
[counter] => 411
[topic] => 48
[informant] => Black13
[notes] =>
[ihome] => 0
[alanguage] => english
[acomm] => 0
[haspoll] => 0
[pollID] => 0
[score] => 56
[ratings] => 14
[editpoem] => 0
[associated] =>
[topicname] => EmotionalPoetry
)
the ghost in the mirror
Contributed by
Black13
on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 10:21:16 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
My words have never come out right
always falling over themselves.
And what I really meant to say
was that I'm sorry for the way I am.
Left myself so cold and alone.
My ashen soul has only ever known
how to hate and be in pain.
And it's funny to think I'm alive.
No one has ever listened to my pain
as it gripped me deep inside, breaking me.
No one was ever there when I was scared.
Left to shiver with this frozen heart.
Never could bear this pain deep inside.
Couldn't stand to meet my own eyes
when I looked into the mirror.
With all the pain and sorrow there.
I see it in your eyes too...
You know what lurks inside the other.
And the way it echoes back to us
when it's flooding off of another.
I have never blamed you for leaving.
And it was hard to look into your eyes.
Understanding never seemed to heal.
Though I miss you we both know better.
Even though I'm left alone again
hearing my soul scream so loud
that a knife can't cut the pain away.
Nothing ever could have saved me.
Though I wanted you to hold me close
I knew you would have to leave someday.
And my defenses cracked and fell
as you shouted out your hate for me.
My soul cried out in agony when you walked away.
Knowing that you would never come back again.
All I can do is wish that you will be ok someday.
Ironic when I can't even muster hope for myself.
I still feel your tears and hear your sobs.
Never could seem to wipe them clean.
Because all I do is fail those around me.
It always leaves me feeling so empty.
I still gaze up at the stars at night
and it reminds me how you are gone.
It reminds me how I have failed you.
It reminds me how I will fail again.
Wanted nothing more than to love you back,
but I couldn't force myself to feel that way.
All I've ever done is hurt everyone
and I hate myself for never doing anything right.
And though it hurts to just let you go.
I know it's what is best for you.
Learned to turn my back so well.
But all it does is make me colder....
Copyright ©
Black13
... [
2004-06-10 22:21:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: the ghost in the mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 10:37:00 PM AEST
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You can't change the past and crying does not good. All you can do is pull up your bootstraps, start over again and keep starting over till you get it right. You will eventually you know. there is nothing wrong with you that care and love and self esteem won't change. You got it going on, now learn how to use it.
Rita |
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Re: the ghost in the mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by JennyFruFru on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 11:25:05 PM AEST
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| you have to realize that you do have control over how you react and feel about your life... your a good person... even in all your argumentive and debates... you have a good points and interesting ideas :) people are interested and people do care... there always has to be a first step to learn how to walk and even though you may fall and stumble at times you'll learn... life is that way too... you may let one person close to you and even though they may stab you in the back and not be there for you always you'll find another person and another person and finally that true friend that will help you through everything. good luck with everything :) |
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Re: the ghost in the mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 11:49:53 PM AEST
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Hey, Jeff--
Okay, there's really very little I can say here that won't be pointless, asinine, idiotic, etc., but there's something sorta wrong with reading a page ripped (you can still see the jagged, torn edges) out of someone's soul's book and just moving on to read the next poem, without so much as bothering to acknowledge that it's been read. So here I comment.
On the surface, it's beautiful. Beauty is pain, pain is beauty, blah blah blah . . . but for whatever reason, beautiful this is. Exposed emotion is always beautiful (yeah, I said ALWAYS) and this is nothing if not pure, unadulterated emotion. So my compliments on a beautiful poem.
Beneath the surface of it being skillfully written / poignant / powerful / etc., there's not much I can say. I can tell you I can relate- but that's only partly true. To much of it, I can relate all too well, and marvel that you managed to capture it-- "And what I really meant to say / was that I'm sorry for the way I am." "And it's funny to think I'm alive." "Couldn't stand to meet my own eyes / when I looked into the mirror." "all I do is fail those around me." The whole 11th verse. "All I've ever done is hurt everyone / and I hate myself for never doing anything right."
Sorry, I'll stop . . . anyhow, so much of that I can relate to so much. In simple sentences you paint emotions so vividly it hurts to read.
But, as I said, some of it I can't relate to . . . so it's hard to honestly say I can relate to all this. And I can't say it'll be okay, because I don't know. And I can't say that you're a good person, because whether or not you are, I know how it feels to hear that when it's the last thing you could ever believe. And I can't say you'll heal someday, because not every story has a happily ever after and there's just a chance that you won't.
. . . but here's one person, miles and years away, who's hoping like hell that you will.
Bless, Jeff.
--Nora |
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Re: the ghost in the mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Friday, 11th June 2004 @ 12:49:34 AM AEST
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I don't know what to say..I feel your sadness.
venkat |
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Re: the ghost in the mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Friday, 11th June 2004 @ 08:14:46 AM AEST
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I know all these feelings. I've had my soul torn out, and I know I have torn others apart. Can't seem to help but do it, even when we don't want to. Well, you know my story anyway. I can tell this one came from down deep.
Stitch |
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Re: the ghost in the mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by arden on
Friday, 11th June 2004 @ 08:16:57 AM AEST
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| I know i shouldnt comment on this, that you prolly just want to be left alone. but, i know these feelings in this poem, i know them all so well. its like reading what i feel inside. im not going to preach to you and say a bunch of crap. just saying that i understand, that i also feel this way. this truely makes me want to cry.... |
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Re: the ghost in the mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Friday, 11th June 2004 @ 09:51:21 AM AEST
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I hear ya brother....been there too. But ya know what? It isnt all you and your fault. I cant count the nights I cried over what I thought was the loss of an endless love and did all I could to make it right again. Sometimes it just isnt meant to be my friend. It isnt your fault, it isnt her fault, it's the hand of fate.
You put your heart on a page in this one.
Peace to your aching heart
Larry |
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Re: the ghost in the mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Sunday, 13th June 2004 @ 08:35:40 AM AEST
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Oh, Jeff......
I wish there was something i could say to help, but i know that even if i did say it it wouldnt help at all...
I will say one thing though: you are not alone. Trust me on this, you are not, and we will all be here for you.
many hugs,
phil xxx |
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Re: the ghost in the mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on
Sunday, 13th June 2004 @ 08:50:30 AM AEST
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you will never be able to erase your pain unless you want to heal.
i know that its easier said then done, but do you really want this pain?
please get help, for your own sake!
lots of people on this website care alot abot you. lots of us are here, you just ave to except us.
but if you still feel like your broken, then how can you be, to be able to write so well?
i'm here if you want me, i just can't promise i can help, other than giving advice and letting you have a good vent. but nether the less, i am here! |
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Re: the ghost in the mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by AcrosticCacophany on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 12:12:13 AM AEST
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A man brutally sprawled across the floor, red with his own blood, wet with his own tears...
Not exactly avant garde, hey?
Once again, notes of advice. In free verse, every line has a purpose, whereas rhyme can get with a few lines of gibberish for the sake of rhythm and rhyme. Many of these lines seem a bit like redundant repetitions that could be condensed into one powerful line.
Originality is a virtue. Not necessarily essential, but most definitely prerequisite for the "wow" factor. Being torn and forlorn is one thing, but expressing your own personal agony in a way everyone else could have doesn't make it special. To be honest, I don't really think people who are in pain should write poems in the heat of the moment--too often they're singed by the flames, and can put nothing but tears on the paper, which isn't very new or appealing.
This poem is heavy. Dense as lead, and it yanks at the depths of the human heart. When the others said they feel for you, they weren't lying, but there's a fine balance keeping style and emotion in the stance of beauty, and in this case emotion is tipping the scale.
Powerful write, but it leaves the reader wishing it was something better.
Poetry is pain. But pain can't be poetry.
~The Wordslayer |
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Re: the ghost in the mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by screwup on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 10:26:57 AM AEST
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| this poem is nothing short of amazing... I love it, and I feel your pain. |
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Re: the ghost in the mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by KSUHO11 on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 10:14:26 PM AEST
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| It made my heart hurt for you man, keep truckin, there's always a silver lining. Peace. |
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Re: the ghost in the mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Wednesday, 16th June 2004 @ 02:51:55 AM AEST
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This one got to me. You are a deft hand at penning your emotions, Jeff lad.
I hope life will turn around for you one of these days. It sometimes does. We get to a point where things suddenly seem completely different, and we wake up to strengths we weren't able to find before. Maybe.
Take good care now.
Andrew |
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Re: the ghost in the mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Thursday, 17th June 2004 @ 01:56:39 PM AEST
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After reading this I struggle to find words. I feel like I am peeking into someones private journal and this poem just makes me want to cry.
You are much too hard on yourself. There is a good person inside of you and I see that person. I wish you did too.
I don't know how to comfort you or what words would be appropriate to say but this poem really touched my heart.
I hope you find love again and find peace inside yourself. You deserve it. :) |
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Re: the ghost in the mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on
Sunday, 20th June 2004 @ 03:25:20 AM AEST
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I am totally and completely speechless. I almost feel like the other person in this poem, and because of that fact, this was very eerie to read. But of course, the person who would've wrote this never would, never will. So I have to say thank you for writing it, and I only hope the other person realizes why they should be thanking you too.
~ Dee |
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Re: the ghost in the mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Monday, 21st June 2004 @ 12:35:47 AM AEST
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God, Jeff - you split your self open and bled out onto to the page with this one. I am... profoundly moved by it. This is one of the bravest poems that I've read on this site. I am completely amazed by it. Incredible. Absolutely, dramatically, incredible.
I'm guessing you could do without "advice"... you'll find your own answers - sometimes answers are overrated anyway.
With serious compassion,
SNM
(who by the way - could not disagree more with what Wordslayer wrote above.... from where I sit, it is absolutely all about the emotion... the more raw, the more in the moment - the better) |
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Re: the ghost in the mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by LovingWhispers on
Thursday, 1st July 2004 @ 09:06:20 AM AEST
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ok no advice from me but I listened and felt all that you gave.Apart from the fact that this piece is totally appealing because of its rawness and simplistic beauty(meaning that you wrote exactly as it was felt,no holding back,real)it also appeals to me because you have dug deep and to me thats a great start to healing.(for anyone).
Your struggle leaves me silent,your pain has me think and feel.
This is a great piece!!
No..no advice.But I WILL share my chocolate *winks*
HEY!!! Dont laugh..Its not easy to get me to part with my choc..lol.
Head up! and..smile :)
Sharon |
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Re: the ghost in the mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by RobertKilpatrick on
Saturday, 10th July 2004 @ 06:29:02 PM AEST
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| wo , When I got into this poem, I allmost started to cry.. Can you believe>> Me cry... Wo it moved me... wo this was comming way down from the deep..... what more can I say.. good reading.... |
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Re: the ghost in the mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by CaddishCut on
Thursday, 12th August 2004 @ 08:06:51 PM AEST
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| That made me cry. Beautiful. |
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Re: the ghost in the mirror
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Saturday, 4th September 2004 @ 12:24:58 AM AEST
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Rereading this, tonight, and the perspective's so different that it hurts to compare reading it now to reading it when I first did. I understand it more-- understand more how it related to you as the author, /and/ how it relates to me as a reader, and I don't know if that's a good thing.
It's getting harder and harder for me to read this all the way through without looking away or stopping at least once.
There are no words.
--Nora |
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