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Array ( [sid] => 48696 [catid] => 1 [aid] => mick [title] => confetti [time] => 2004-05-22 17:40:34 [hometext] => a general spillage of feelings after making quite a large mistake.... [bodytext] => Again, I've succumbed
So sorry everyone
To let you all down
For his sake
He came, 'just a friend'
His ways, just to mend
Bull****
And I rose to the bait.
Watching him with his eyes closed
Trying to interpret his dreams, fantasies.
Such a child...He lies receptive, selfish.
Why do I love it so much?
Even now... as his big hands have shrunk, his lips have paled and his eyes are still shutting me out. Quiet and alone
with him, in the afternoon sunshine. I'm not scared. But I'm not strong anymore. I depict the opposite appearance and I'm sharing it all with him. Why?
My brain presides over the whole situation
Some way up above in the air...
It doesn't approve. It feels emasculated. But it loves the security of the past, and snuggles affectionately back into it's arms. My emotions have gone too far. Out of their depth and far too dense to float, to save themselves.
Tired of fighting with myself, I sink, giving in. Awaiting the consequences.
Seconds later, they crash in on us from above.
The voice of life and experience. Shocked at my actions, it backs away, eyes screaming wide that I could be so slutty, so stupid.
Manchild and I jump. Synchronised, like in another of our previous scenes choreographed by fate.
No matter though, what is seen, is seen. Bare skin will always tell a different tale to that of our innocent expressions.
I drop my head and drown in it all.
Boy escapes on the fragile bubble containing my last breath.
When they bury me, the feelings I thought I had lost for good will be the somber confetti they sprinkle my earth with.
Always to get the better of me.
I wonder if he'll realise?
I wonder if he'll care?
I wonder if he'll cry for me?
I wonder…
Will he be there? [comments] => 6 [counter] => 208 [topic] => 48 [informant] => dolly_dagger [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 5 [ratings] => 1 [editpoem] => 1 [associated] => [topicname] => EmotionalPoetry )

confetti

Contributed by dolly_dagger on Saturday, 22nd May 2004 @ 05:40:34 PM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry

Again, I've succumbed
So sorry everyone
To let you all down
For his sake
He came, 'just a friend'
His ways, just to mend
Bull****
And I rose to the bait.
Watching him with his eyes closed
Trying to interpret his dreams, fantasies.
Such a child...He lies receptive, selfish.
Why do I love it so much?
Even now... as his big hands have shrunk, his lips have paled and his eyes are still shutting me out. Quiet and alone
with him, in the afternoon sunshine. I'm not scared. But I'm not strong anymore. I depict the opposite appearance and I'm sharing it all with him. Why?
My brain presides over the whole situation
Some way up above in the air...
It doesn't approve. It feels emasculated. But it loves the security of the past, and snuggles affectionately back into it's arms. My emotions have gone too far. Out of their depth and far too dense to float, to save themselves.
Tired of fighting with myself, I sink, giving in. Awaiting the consequences.
Seconds later, they crash in on us from above.
The voice of life and experience. Shocked at my actions, it backs away, eyes screaming wide that I could be so slutty, so stupid.
Manchild and I jump. Synchronised, like in another of our previous scenes choreographed by fate.
No matter though, what is seen, is seen. Bare skin will always tell a different tale to that of our innocent expressions.
I drop my head and drown in it all.
Boy escapes on the fragile bubble containing my last breath.
When they bury me, the feelings I thought I had lost for good will be the somber confetti they sprinkle my earth with.
Always to get the better of me.
I wonder if he'll realise?
I wonder if he'll care?
I wonder if he'll cry for me?
I wonder…
Will he be there?

Copyright Â© dolly_dagger ... [ 2004-05-22 17:40:34]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: confetti (User Rating: 1 )
by Kirby on Saturday, 22nd May 2004 @ 05:47:43 PM AEST
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This was such an emotional poem and I really enjoyed the wrods and feelings you put into it. I feel your pain. Wondeful Write. Love::::Kirby

Re: confetti (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Saturday, 22nd May 2004 @ 05:55:02 PM AEST
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There you go again . . . Writing in such a candid, vividly expressive way that is invigorating to read, and so absorptive to boot. The theme was original, and thought out with intelligence.

This sequence was beautifully conveyed

"Manchild and I jump. Synchronised, like in another of our previous scenes choreographed by fate"

Qualitas, again, Ms. Dagger.

Re: confetti (User Rating: 1 )
by juliette on Saturday, 22nd May 2004 @ 09:41:25 PM AEST
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I loved this - I read and write so much of the same old stuff - it is wonderful to read something so original and daring.

"Synchronised, like in another of our previous scenes choreographed by fate."

"When they bury me, the feelings I thought I had lost for good will be the somber confetti they sprinkle my earth with."

Lines I wish I had written!! Awesome.........
Thanks for sharing!
juliette

Re: confetti (User Rating: 1 )
by Broken-glass on Sunday, 23rd May 2004 @ 02:10:34 PM AEST
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To say I enjoyed this may not be very tasteful due to the content...but I did! Very raw and personal, different from others of yours I've read. Impressed and intrigued...Love B-G xxx

Re: confetti (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Wednesday, 26th May 2004 @ 09:01:31 AM AEST
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i am seriously amazied that this, its stunning. i read it with nerves goin thru me, finished it, and read it afew more times. it made me feel aprihensive and sad and that feelin of desent i guess that your writing about. and of course, it full of the emotion i fear the most, regret. damn good job.
-joel x x x x x

Re: confetti (User Rating: 1 )
by little_genna on Thursday, 27th May 2004 @ 12:56:01 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

my word cannot do justice to this poem so all i will say is well done and i feel your pain my dear friend.

love and hugs
XgenX

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