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Array
(
[sid] => 48176
[catid] => 1
[aid] => mick
[title] => The Invisible Fool
[time] => 2004-05-19 01:54:00
[hometext] => The invisible fool... that is what I feel like every time I get depressed... because I know I'm being robbed of all my joy and love... but I can't stop it from happening... I'm hard on myself and everyone around me... how could I let it happen again?
[bodytext] => The invisible fool... that's all I AM... Just think... how many times have I helped you out of a real JAM? But when it comes to helping POOR OLD ME... I'm just the invisible fool... that's all you ever seem to SEE! Let's face it... I am NOTHING to you... just an insignificant SPECK of DUST... Who... at this very moment... is stuck in a rut... where you all will leave me to rot... to tarnish... to die... TO RUST! I have become nothing... but a THORN in your swollen SIDES... But there's one thing... you all fail to REALIZE... I am just a human being TOO... I easily get HURT... 'cause I have thoughts and feelings... JUST LIKE YOU! I guess... my words and feelings are just EMPTY CUPS of HOT AIR... 'Cause NOT ONE of YOU... SEEMS TO CARE! I must face the facts... they have all FALLEN upon DEAF EARS... 'Cause NOT ONE of YOU... SEEMS TO WANNA HEAR! All of my loving thoughts... all of my wonderful feelings... all of my gloomy fears... all my rain soaked tears... TRAMPLED UPON like YESTERDAY'S NEWS... Ah... maybe... who knows... that's just what I'll become... what have I got to LOSE? Hey... you all... don't seem to CARE if I LIVE OR DIE... It's one way to take care of WHAT'S EATING ME ALIVE... I just feel BEAT UPON BY LIFE... Like I have been STABBED REPEATLY with a BLOODY KNIFE... Until my last breath... has been EXPELLED from MY CHEST... By the last person who has tread across MY BREAST... Oh... WHY? Please tell me WHY? DO I FEEL THIS WAY? Has my LIFE been LIVED in VAIN... DAY after DAY? If only... I could LEAVE THIS ALL BEHIND... LIFE ANEW I would FIND... Somewhere along LIFE'S WAY... I would PICK UP the PIECES and START A NEW DAY! I would MEND these little rips and tears in MY SOUL... These fractures in MY HEART... for I am someone who is needing to be MADE WHOLE... THE INVISIBLE FOOL is what I maybe now... A BITTER PERSON towards MY LIFE... MY FAMILY... MY FRIENDS SOMEHOW.... How can I tell you all ONCE AGAIN... All the heartfelt things... that NEED TO BE SAID... In my ANGUISH and PAIN... I have FAILED TO REALIZE... Maybe you all have been there... ALL THIS TIME... I have been TOO BLIND TO SEE... it would SEEM... Through all my empty thoughts... all my empty words... all my empty smiles... ALL MY EMPTY DREAMS... That my life has been an EMPTY PAGE... Where there is nothing WRITTEN DOWN except for RAGE The sadness of ONE INVISIBLE FOOL'S LIFE... That is about to CHANGE IN GOD'S OWN TIME To say all that things that needs to be said to each of YOU...IT IS NOT ENOUGH! On each of you... I HAVE REALLY BEEN ROUGH AND TOUGH! This is a time when I AM SORRY... just does not get the job DONE.... IT IS MORE LIKE... I LOVE EACH OF YOU... TONS AND TONS I hope that you all can FORGIVE me for THE INVISIBLE FOOL I have BEEN... PLEASE... LET ME BE FORGIVEN and SHOW ME LOVE ONCE AGAIN...? [comments] => 2 [counter] => 156 [topic] => 61 [informant] => kidpoet_213 [notes] => [ihome] => 0 [alanguage] => english [acomm] => 0 [haspoll] => 0 [pollID] => 0 [score] => 0 [ratings] => 0 [editpoem] => 0 [associated] => [topicname] => selfstruggles )
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